Ugghhh...

It's 11:00 PM, and I'm blogging - but Jack's crying - so I guess things could be worse, although I'm not sure for whom. Here's the rundown.

7 PM -- Bath. He's gotten in to a habit of standing in the tub. Any advice other than the regular ol' spirit breaking beat down?

7:15 -- Read his Alabama book to him while he drinks his bottle

7:30 -- He and I fall asleep in the rocker in his bedroom. I make a conscious effort to NOT actually rock him. He just lays (lies, just whatever Stephen - if you're out there) across my lap.

8:25 -- I wake up and put him down in his crib. He's a good boy.

10:00 -- He wakes up and cries. Leah tries to comfort him back to sleep with words and her motherly touch. That doesn't work well because we've ruined him. She rocks him back to sleep (he falls asleep instantaneously) and puts him back to bed around 10:20.

10:25 -- He wakes up and starts crying. I go upstairs and try to comfort him. Nothing doin' until I pick him up. He's asleep before we make it to the rocker. I sit in the rocker with him, but don't rock him, for ten minutes and then put him back in his crib.

10:35 -- I swear he's awake and crying before I leave the room. I almost instantly decide that the Ferber Method is worth a try. I go downstairs to get my stopwatch and water -- this is going to be a marathon, I can feel it. I love a good foot race.

10:38 -- I tell him 'what up', and then I leave his room. He's still standing and crying.

10:43 -- The first 5 minutes pass. I go in to his room to find him standing in his crib - wailing (of course, I already knew that). Tell him that I love him and that I'm sorry that my earlier decisions have created this problem, but two wrongs ain't ever gonna make a right. I try to lay him down (not sure that's part of Ferber's Method), he stands right back up. I leave him standing at 10:46.

10:46 - 10:57 -- Balance checkbook and make Officefootballpool picks. Wow, the picks this week are gimmes. I'm sure that I'll go 10-0.

10:57 -- I enter Jack's room to find him crying and standing, just as before. He vocally explodes when he sees me. I give him a kiss on the forehead and again tell him that I'm sorry - sins of the father and all that - I try to lay him down again. Again he's having no part of it. I leave his room. It's 11:00.

Now the 15 minute interval...I've heard about this interval...how many of these will I have to endure?

Crying, crying, crying - oh that was pitiful - crying, crying but not as strong, whimpering, whimpering followed by moments of silence, silence followed by moments of whimpering -- HOLY SHNIKEY!!! Is this really happening??? -- and then..........

Silence. Silence followed by silence. Silence followed by silence followed by silence. It's like a train of silence. I wonder if there are dancers, like on Soul Train. The Silence Train dancers would be dressed as sleep fairies. Watch, somebody will read this, turn the Silence Train in to a product that Disney will buy from them for 100 gazillion dollars.

Is the silence good??? I'll have to admit, it's a little scary. It's 11:09. I've got to wait six more minutes before I can check on him? That doesn't seem right! What if something's wrong? What if he vomited? What if he cried up a lung???

11:15 -- I enter his room. I can hear breathing, but no crying, so that's good. He's not moving, except for his normal breathing movements. It appears that exhaustion consumed him while he was sitting up, because his torso is laying forward and his legs are pointing to his head. Can that be comfortable? Can it be safe??? He's not complaining. Do I help him out anyway?? Why didn't I buy the book??? Oh, and there's his pacifier - in his crib but not in his mouth. Did we, in a mere 31 minutes, break two sleep associations at one time??? I doubt it, but he's asleep, and he did it on his own. He's a good boy. He may hate me in the morning, but I have to believe that this is for his own good. I have to keep telling myself that, right? I guess I'm sleeping on the couch upstairs tonight, though.

11:39 -- Ferber worked in less time than it took me to recap what all happened. Was it just beginner's luck? Probably so, but I'll take it. We'll see if his sleep lasts through the night or just until I click 'Publish Post'. What do I do if he wakes up? Do I start over again at the five minute intervals, or do I go straight to the 15 minute intervals? I should have bought the book. Let's all just pray he doesn't wake. Goodnight.