tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-336521182024-03-13T09:52:02.031-06:00The Conch ShackCell phones are not allowed. Seriously.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-41633873854607552322012-03-06T09:11:00.001-06:002012-03-06T09:11:25.119-06:00First Blogger App PostI've been trying a lot of new mobile apps recently. Evernote, LinkedIn, and now Blogger. This seems to be okay for quick, short posts about where I am and what I'm doing, but I'm not sure this will be very useful for longer, in-depth posts. Anyhoo, I hope you're all doing well.<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoiFK9MjwqaLsen8_Tvb1RWqjASv-fVF8TUNl6VZDHTms0F9WZCNs5YWAqoKmwxncp5DRRGaQAavkYBgn8wh3pvITLJv4ttz_cGuvBbzLp6Kjvsbs03VKurkR3hjS5p5fX2N1/s640/blogger-image--1134338800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWoiFK9MjwqaLsen8_Tvb1RWqjASv-fVF8TUNl6VZDHTms0F9WZCNs5YWAqoKmwxncp5DRRGaQAavkYBgn8wh3pvITLJv4ttz_cGuvBbzLp6Kjvsbs03VKurkR3hjS5p5fX2N1/s640/blogger-image--1134338800.jpg" /></a></div>King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-78935945467522835242012-01-24T14:36:00.000-06:002012-01-24T14:38:05.375-06:00Choot It!I think that phrase may be copywrite protected, but SOPA isn't in effect just yet, and it's also what Keith and I yell every Saturday morning to our 5K Upward basketball team. If we get a rebound, we just SHOOT IT AGAIN!<br />
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Upward is fun. Everyone plays, everyone plays the same amount of time, and there is a science to the starting lineup so that everyone starts the same amount of games. It takes the pressure off of winning - which is all 5 year-old baseball was about - and allows the opportunity for all the kids to learn the game, correctly, and participate. We don't hide the players that aren't as good. We don't practice 4 days a week for 2 hours at a time - we have one 1-hour practice a week and a game on Saturday morning. We don't keep score - but that doesn't mean that we don't play hard and try to play good defense. There is, however, only so much that you can cover in one hour of practice.<br />
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Jack wasn't interested in playing baseball this spring. He had a really bad coach last year (that would be me), so he wanted to try something different. Trussville has a youth track league in the spring and Jack wants to do that. I'm happy and excited that he wants to give track a try. The track is probably where old hippies like me belong.<br />
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See you soon.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-87861293031062964402011-08-22T13:37:00.000-06:002011-08-22T13:37:46.278-06:00Out of RetirementWell, not really, but I did swing a golf club for the first time since October of 2010 this past weekend. I played in a FBC scramble tournament with some guys from Sunday school. We finished 8 under, well off the 14 under pace that won the tournament. Our team was not selected for a random team prize, nor did any of our team members win a door prize. The gift bags did contain a nice Nike golf shirt and a Verizon huggie.<br />
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I don't suspect the golf to become a habit, although it was fun to be out there. I did play the same ball all day long. Quite remarkable, actually.<br />
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That's really about it. Hope all is well.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-33445775832241270372011-05-05T06:42:00.000-06:002011-05-05T06:42:33.115-06:00Season OverWe were ousted in the first round of the 5 year old post season tournament last night. The Pirates took it to us pretty good, defeating us 16-9. None of our players, however, should hang their heads. We made a couple of plays in the field and everyone got a hit - which is huge given that two and half month ago I didn't know if some of them would ever get the chance to run to first base. I'm not sure how many times we struck out last night, but we went through the order three times (30 at bats) in four innings. By comparison, we only sent 23 batters to the plate in our four innings last Saturday. We struck out 13 times in our first game (out of 15 outs) over the course of about 25 at bats. I bet we didn't strike out more than 5 times last night.<br />
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I'm proud of all the kids, but since this is my blog, I'll brag on Jack a little. He absolutely CRUSHED the ball last night. This from a kid who only swung a 'real' bat for the first time in January and spent the first two-thirds of the season just 'dropping' the bat through the zone, not really 'swinging' the bat. Well, we had a come to Jesus talk about effort and desire and WANT TO on Easter Sunday and, since he decided that he was tired of striking out and tired of the pitcher picking up all of his 'hits' and tagging him out on the way to first, he has been swinging the bat as well as anyone in the league. He hit a grounder in the hole between third and short that went to the fence and drove in two runs, then he hit a line drive that almost knocked the shortstop's glove off. I was proud of him, and I told him so. I told him so many times that he asked, "Why do you keep telling me how proud you are?"<br />
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Good job, son. We'll get 'em next year.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-199084034638220212011-04-26T07:15:00.000-06:002011-04-26T06:41:49.010-06:00Little Papi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD6Rg-0rH-9U2an-Mh9IFUYn4rO1MFMO6VMaDXK01o00Vtee8TET41OGAxhVByOuv2mk58EiJQCEzIc7ELNFuVFdQS4_Xh5Q9Ntq6ui9nTlnpNBW_KBl4dbsy585VUbqX1eXN6/s1600/x2_51e4a5f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD6Rg-0rH-9U2an-Mh9IFUYn4rO1MFMO6VMaDXK01o00Vtee8TET41OGAxhVByOuv2mk58EiJQCEzIc7ELNFuVFdQS4_Xh5Q9Ntq6ui9nTlnpNBW_KBl4dbsy585VUbqX1eXN6/s320/x2_51e4a5f.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>Here's Jack. He's five now and playing his first season of baseball. I thought we would start with tee ball, but in Trussville only four year olds play tee ball. Five year olds thru 8 year olds play coach pitch (and we keep score, we're 2-8). It's very difficult for a 5 year old to hit a pitched ball - it's very difficult for a 30 year old to hit a pitched ball, which is why you can fail 7 times out of 10 in the major leagues and be considered one of the best players ever.<br />
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Jack made me super proud last night. He struck out three times and may have let a ball get to the fence, but he swung the bat the best that he has all year and he hussled after the ball when it got by him. What made me proudest, though, was when I asked him if he would catch for me because one of our regular catchers was not at the game. He said, "Yeah, sure daddy. I'll do whatever you need me to do. I'll play where ever."<br />
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Thank you, Jack.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-35654367286613631392011-04-21T06:25:00.005-06:002011-04-22T06:37:08.644-06:00Hey Hey Hey!Hey, look who's back! Well, since the boys kicked me out of the Kiva Cup, took away my other blog, and the twitter account I created to promote the event (well, to entertain myself, same thing really), I decided to open The Conch Shack back up!<br />
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Step right up. Don't push, there's plenty for every one.<br />
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Has it really been three years since I shut this place down? Wow. This site needs some updatin'. Looking at the sidebar, Jack is now 5 and still likes Cars - although Mario now beats Lightning McQueen in any race. Things change, things stay the same, I guess. Now we're going through some of the same stuff with Layne, our sweet little 15 month old.<br />
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Well, we'll see how this goes. It feels good to be back. It really does. See you soon. I hope to have the comments feature activate soon, as I know you all want to send me your own special 'welcome back' message. [UPDATE: See, fixed it. I'm going to have to get back in the groove with this.]King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-53177043682051970442008-04-01T13:28:00.005-06:002008-04-01T13:59:12.181-06:00100 and DoneIt occurred to me today that I had created 99 posts for The Conch Shack. The first one was on August 31, 2006. The last on will be today. 100 is enough. There's no since in staying in it like Mike <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Huckabee</span>.<br /><br />When I started More of Less, the predecessor to The Conch Shack, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">KBF</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">PromKingsWife</span> were staff writers. Now they have their own successful blogs, and several others have spawned from there. That's fun to see.<br /><br />In truth, I don't have time to be a good employee, father, or husband. I know that's not the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">order</span> those are supposed to be in, but on any given day, that's the order that the majority of my time is spent. I certainly don't have time to be an employee, a father, a husband, a son, a brother, a grandson, an uncle, a blogger, a runner, a golfer, a yard boy, president of the homeowners association, webmaster of some dorky insurance association, or any of the other things that I either try to be or have agreed to be that I can't even think of right now. It's time to let some of it go.<br /><br />Looking back through some of the older posts...Jack's first Christmas.....the Sleep Lady Shuffle, the Ferber Method...hey, some television shows that I used to watch...Mike Shula's firing....the trip to NASA with PawPaw...it's been fun.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing. Take care and good luck.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-9048475178377372762008-03-25T10:28:00.007-06:002008-03-25T13:02:30.231-06:00Mo' Body, Less SelesBefore I start, can someone explain to me what I'm supposed to be getting from the NBC "Welcome Back" commercials? ABC is running some similar promo. Who are those commercials directed at? I'm not the one that took the fall of 2007 off. I didn't go any where, so they must not be welcoming me back. Do people in television have such a high sense of self-importance that they're welcoming themselves back? I don't really get it.<br /><br />The family was upstairs playing last night, and as is customary, the TV was on. As <s>luck</s> fate would have it, Access Hollywood re-ran the body again body again story of Julianne in a bikini. We were still playing at 7:00 when DWTS came on, so we flipped over to the ABC station so that little Jack could see Julianne in her dancing dress. The things that we do for our kids, right? Well imagine the horror when I look up to see, not Mitt Romney's underutilized secret weapon, but tennis legend Monica Seles. Wow! I know two nice people, maybe more on the periphery - but in the core group there are only two...maybe two and a half, and one of them has already called me this morning to chastise my comments about Ms. Seles. I will not repeat what I said earlier, but suffice to say, time and UV rays have not been very kind to the former champ. I will forever more use sunscreen when outdoors. I hope it's not too late.<br /><br />We watched The Hills last night. I mean really, how boring and unreal is that show? Don't get me wrong, we'll keep watching, but Whitney did not say "I know it's not your problem, it is our problem" when she was talking on the phone to the store manager. That was dubbed in later. I can't wait until Lauren returns to California and gets called in to Lisa Love's office...."And Lauren, the girl that didn't go to Paris last year but got MTV to pay for her trip this year. You got a complimentary dress from a designer and you burned it with a flat iron. Then you wore the replacement [that just happened to fit perfectly] when you went for a Vespa ride with a cigarette. Did you learn anything?"<br /><br />And Heidi, I don't really know, but I don't think you are supposed to use self-tan on your lips. Spencer, when he smiles, reminds me of my college roommate. Lance had that same smile, like he should be looking in a mirror to see if he has spinach in his teeth. Creepy really. The difference is that I like Lance, although I haven't talked to him in.....oh, five years at least. He was the Chief Resident at Johns Hopkins the last time that I talked to him. I bet he didn't watch The Hills last night. Or last year. Or the year before. The photographic memory that guy has. Incredible. I don't know if it was photographic, but he could read something once, rememeber it, understand not only the concept presented but also the interrelation of that concept with other concepts AND how to apply one concept such that there were no adverse effects on other systems or properties. In short, you'd want him as your doctor. You wouldn't understand a damn thing that he said to you, but at the end of the day, you'd have the smartest doctor on the planet. Except that his specialty is now Oncology, so...<br /><br />He was - and I'm sure still is - ultra-competitive. He didn't like losing, which isn't a bad quality - especially if you're his patient - but everything was a contest to him. We actually took one class together in college (there isn't much overlap in the microbiology and business management degree paths), and we both made an 'A'. I used to remind him of that when we talked. It's the only time that he didn't beat me. Of course, then he'd tell me that he graduated with a 4.0 and the only reason that I remember that 'A' was because it was the only one that I ever made. I need to call him.<br /><br />What was I talking about?<br /><br />What else have I seen lately? Oh, the best show on TV that you're not watching is "High School Reunion" on TV Land. That's good television. Nothing says "we buried the hatchet and left the handle sticking out" [<em>Garth Brooks</em>] like a 20 year high school reunion. There's a guy that was sleeping with his best friend's estranged wife...all three of whom are on the show. And there's a LEBANESE lady exploring male companionship again, or maybe for the first time, I really don't know, but it's fun to watch.<br /><br />I'll concur with KBF about Dirt, that seemed like a good show the one time that I saw it. One of my favorite shows is Cold Case - not to be confused with Cold Case Files on Discovery or Court TV or whatever. Unfortunately, basketball games, football games, and golf tournaments always run late on Sundays, which means that Cold Case doesn't come on at its regularly scheduled time, which means that the Divo doesn't record it correctly, which means that I don't see it except for the three weeks a year that there isn't an NCAA basketball game, NFL game, or PGA event.<br /><br />Finally, lunch time...peace out.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-71677310561879716352008-03-05T08:37:00.004-06:002008-03-05T14:53:38.165-06:00Too much Access<em>Note: A lot of the names below are not spelled correctly. It's not on purpose, I just don't have time to look them up.</em><br /><br />Last night on Access Hollywood, Billy Bush - who I've decided has the greatest job in the entire world, what with getting to work with Nancy O'Dell and/or Maria Menunos every day - was covering a photo shoot for Julianna Hough (the girl from DWTS). She was doing a (itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie) bikini shoot for SHAPE magazine. Not that I was really studying or any thing.<br /><br /><strong>SIDEBAR:</strong> Am I the only one that thinks she has some Tara Reid characteristics? I mean, before the awful plastic surgery and her drunken TV show (Taradise, or Tara-ble).<br /><br />During the story, Leah said, "Wow! She's got a nice body."<br /><br />This was the conversation at our house for 30 minutes after the story went off:<br /><br />2-year old Jack: Body again. Body again.<br /><br />Leah: You want to see the girl's body again?<br /><br />Jack: Otay!<br /><br />Leah: Well, the show went off.<br /><br />Jack: Body again. Body again. Body again.<br /><br />Leah: Well, the show went off. We can't see the body again.<br /><br />Jack: Body again?<br /><br />Leah: Her show comes on in a couple of weeks. We'll see it then.<br /><br />Jack: Otay. Body show in weeks. Body again?<br /><br />Me: Here's the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, son. I suggest Danica Patrick and Brooklyn Decker.<br /><br />Jack: Otay.<br /><br />That last exchange didn't really happen, but wow, what did we do? We felt like we needed to read him the Bible for Babies as his night-night book.<br /><br />It occurred to me during the exchange that Julianna is closer to Jack's age than she is to my age. Ouch.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-52264353163865498752008-02-29T13:12:00.005-06:002008-02-29T13:34:24.754-06:00Need an S, take an SWhy do people add an 's' to the end of a some words, and why does it bother me so? They're not making the word plural, or making it possessive, they're just adding an 's'.<br /><br />For example, my dad loves to go to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wal</span>-Marts. That's not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Wal</span>-Marts plural , it's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Wal</span>-Marts singular. He doesn't enjoy going to all the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Wal</span>-Marts, he only enjoys going to the single <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Wal</span>-Marts in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Gardendale</span>. Do not, under any circumstance, get in to a K-Marts vs. Wal-Marts debate with my dad. You will lose.<br /><br />It's somewhat disconcerting to my mother-in-law when she has to give Jack his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Zyrtecs</span> medication. It's disconcerting to me, too, because he actually takes Zyrtec.<br /><br />I'm sure that I butcher a lot of words, especially when talking to the Cajun Ellie Walker, Leah, and Brandon about medications. But those are all Latin derivatives. I go <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Espanol</span>!<br /><br />That is what is going through my head right now. Just thought you'd like to know.<br /><br />I disappointed the table last weekend when I ordered Miller Lite. I like Miller Lite okay, it's not at all my second choice, but it's just all that came to mind when the waiter told me he didn't have Coors Light.<br /><br />I'm bored. It's been a long week. Next week, I start CARPOOLING! Can't you just feel the GREEN? I'll let you know how it goes.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-90354921706807901582008-02-25T09:22:00.006-06:002008-02-25T09:30:58.830-06:00Stepping Out“If you step back this time, you’re going to land right on your butt”, Dennis Brand yelled at Andy. Some of the players laughed at hearing the word ‘butt’ while others feared that just hearing such a word would cause them to spend eternity in hell. The rest of the boys just began to worry more about taking their turn at bat.<br /><br />In all respects, Coach Dennis Brand was hard on his players, even if they were 8 and under. In the last three years of fall ball, travel ball, and the “regular season”, Coach Brand’s teams had made it to 9 championship games and brought home 8 championship trophies. The only game his team lost followed a late night semifinal game that was called in the fifth inning according to the league’s mercy rule. The mercy rule was designed to save teams from utter humiliation by ending any game in the fifth inning in which one team was ahead by ten or more runs. Coach Brand’s team was ahead by 12 runs at the end of the fifth inning, but he felt their play was sloppy and sluggish, so after the game he made them run. And run. And run. His team was so tired at the start of the championship game the following morning that they were no match for the other team. Coach Brand’s team was declared losers by the mercy rule, less than 12 hours after imposing the rule on another team.<br /><br />Though several parents disagreed with his methods, few complained of the results.<br /><br />One of Coach Brand’s methods of teaching players to stand firm in the batter’s box, instead of stepping out of the batters box out of fear of being struck, was to place bats behind the batter’s feet. If the batter tried to dance out of the way, then the young man found himself trying to dance on rolling aluminum bats. Very few players had mastered this skill.<br /><br />“Hold on!” Coach Brand yelled at Miles Torrance, his assistant coach and operator of the pitching machine. Coach Torrance turned off the machine for a moment.<br /><br />For those few players that had perfected Coach Brand’s aluminum bat two-step, Coach Brand would place bats behind that batter and make him stand in a surplus military duffel bag that served as the team’s equipment bag. He saved this for his most extreme cases.<br /><br />Today, Andy was an extreme case.<br /><br />Eight-year-old Andy Watts was in his second year of little league baseball. He was an average player, a better fielder than hitter, who worked hard and never missed practice. He was the son of supportive parents who, despite their hectic schedules, rarely missed a practice and never missed a game. Andy had earned a good reputation among coaches in the league. He was not the best athlete on the field, but he worked hard and followed instructions. He was described more than once as “just solid”, though he was having trouble today. Andy’s practice performance, like that of many little league players in South Fork, Georgia, could be attributed in part to the town’s antiquated pitching machine.<br /><br />While other nearby towns and schools had replaced their pitching machines with the newer two-wheel model, South Fork still used an ancient model designed to replicate the motion of a pitcher’s arm.<br /><br />The machine that South Fork continued to use consisted of a generator fed motor that wound tight a large spring that was attached to a long, metal arm. The machine’s arm moved in a circle on the right side of the machine, like a harsh, ugly one-paddle windmill. Balls were fed from the holding basket to the collection area through a hole that was just larger than the baseball.<br /><br />As the arm passed the collection area, it picked up the ball and carried it in its ‘hand’ until, near the top of the rotation, the spring would release causing the metal arm to hurl the ball toward home plate. The machine resembled a medieval trebuchet, only twice as noisy and far less accurate.<br /><br />The batter had to shake off the surprise of the metal robot’s quick release, block out the sound of metal clashing against metal, focus on the pitch and start his swing in less than a second.<br /><br />Andy was determined to stay in the batter’s box. If for no other reason than to prove to himself that he could do it. He wasn’t concerned about the bag he was standing in, the bats behind his feet, or even making contact with his swing. He just wanted to stand in the box as the ball approached the plate.<br /><br />When Coach Brand was satisfied with his work on Andy, he nodded toward the pitcher’s mound. Coach Torrance turned the machine back on. The generator in the distance growled as the motor began to tighten the spring on the pitching machine.<br /><br />Andy adjusted his stance as his hands lightly gripped the handle of the bat. <em>Elbow up</em>, he reminded himself as he watched the arm pass the collection spot and pick up the next ball. The arm seemed to move slower than normal as it approached the top. Andy’s left foot, acting almost on instinct, tried to move backward. Andy held his foot firm until…<strong>WHAM!</strong>…the spring released, the arm flew forward, the ball left the metal hand and was hurled toward home plate. <em>Don’t move, don’t move, stay in the box</em> Andy said to himself while the moment of surprise subsided and the noise echoed. He was able to find the ball halfway between the pitching machine and home plate. <em>Don’t move, don’t move….<br /></em><br />The sound of ball meeting flesh startled Lizzie Franks, a team mother who was working feverishly to fill cups with Kool-aid and arrange Oreos on the tailgate of Coach Brand’s truck.<br /><br />“STOP THE MACHINE, MILES! STOP!!!” Lizzie heard Coach Brand yell. She looked up to see Dennis and Miles running toward homeplate where Andy was on the ground. She saw the blood on Andy’s face when Miles rolled the child over.<br /><br />“CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! HURRY!!!” Coach Brand screamed to someone, anyone. Lizzie glanced up at him and realized he was yelling to her. Lizzie ran to the home across the street and began knocking on the front door.<br /><br />----------<br /><br />Less than one mile from where Andy Watts lay crying at homeplate, his mother Mary Ellen Watts watched as her daughter practiced tumbling at the South Fork Cheernastics Academy with a dozen other local 8-year old girls. Pass after pass, the girls crisscrossed the old foam mat that protected them from the unforgiving concrete floor of the converted five and dime.<br /><br />Mary Ellen didn’t see who the other girl was, it happened too fast. All she saw was the other girl’s feet come over and hit her daughter right below her left eye. Kelly Watts instantly fell to the floor. Her cry brought to a halt all other activity in the gym.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-85657126408069283982008-02-15T12:51:00.002-06:002008-02-15T13:09:18.355-06:00THE STRIKE IS OVER!!!!Yea!!! The Writer's Guild of America strike against the big bad television producers is over! And they worked out the deal just in time for the summer hiatus...see you next September, I guess.<br /><br />It's really just as well if they were going to keep writing crap like the Lipstick Mafia (a/k/a Lucy Liu is under contract, and We Need to Cross Promote the Sex and the City Movie as Much as Possible).<br /><br />Is there an industry out there that is heavy in unions that is able to react to changes without so much pushback from the unions that it threatens the industry as a whole? I've never really understood the whole, "We'll show them! We won't work and they'll have to close this shop and we'll be out of jobs!" thought process. [Sorry Paw-Paw, a proud member of the UMWA.]<br /><br />I understand the reason why unions began so many years ago, but in some respects, they've become a mockery of themselves.<br /><br />Happy day after Valentine's Day! Leah, Jack and I had a romantic dinner of Toots' chicken salad and some rolls at 5:15, then we watched Cars again. Then we went upstairs and looked at Cars on the computer. Then we watched Lost. I've given up trying to figure out what's going on with the Lostaways of Craphole Island. I'm not even sure why I watch it, but it's the only show that I watch. And we DiVo it, so I don't watch the ads either. I'm a writers/producers/ABC/advertisers worst nightmare. OH, it occurs to me that I might be stealing the show...I'll ponder that over the summer hiatus.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-50550334580436799032008-02-04T12:29:00.000-06:002008-02-04T13:01:45.942-06:00ElectibilityOh, tomorrow is SUPER Tuesday! For the first time in a long time, Alabama is relevant - or at least not irrelevant. I'm sure Presidential candidates have visited Alabama before, but I don't remember when. Visits to our State are usually done after the election, when a Republican candidate needs some cash.<br /><br />As I discussed last week, I'm really having some trouble deciding on a candidate this year. The good news, I guess, is that I'm not alone. Over the last week, at least a dozen people have expressed their 'undecidedness'. What I find interesting, however, is how many times I've heard, "I know that he won't win the party nomination, but I really want to vote for _______".<br /><br />I find it interesting because the people making the comment all <em>want </em>to vote for the same person. If everyone voted for that candidate that <em>wanted</em> to vote for that candidate, then that candidate would win the nomination by a landslide.<br /><br />I guess history tells us that, in order to be elected President, you must have certain characteristics; you must be male, you must be white, you have to be named "George" or "William" or "John", you must be over 6 feet tall, you must have military experience (seeing action is a bonus), and you must be rich.<br /><br />If your candidate of choice fits nicely in to that mold, then by all means, vote for that person. If, however, your candidate of choice is a woman, or is black, or is short, or is named Mitt or Barack - then VOTE for your candidate of choice. The primary election shouldn't be a beauty pageant where the winner is whomever looks the best in a two-piece and can most clearly explain their plan to end world hunger from her room high in the Trump Plaza.<br /><br />Vote for the candidate that you like. Vote for the person that believes the things that you believe. Vote for the person with interests, desires and passions that most closely resemble your own.<br /><br />Unless that person is Hillary.<br /><br />I'm kidding!!! Polls open in the morning at 7AM and stay open until 7PM.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-89610504199212178972008-01-31T15:10:00.000-06:002008-01-31T15:19:31.668-06:00One other thingIf you find yourself at Don Pepe's and your child spots the GIGANTIC gumball machine that screams to small children like a lighthouse to lost sailors, and your child starts screaming "BALLL, BALLLL, BAAALLLLLLL" and cries to the point that you decide to just get him a gumball so that he will stop crying so that you can have one bite of your tacos al carbon (steak), don't you dare ask the bartender to break a dollar for you because he, "no make no CORT-TAIRS".<br /><br />Tu frikkin chancho.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-75498176084631259702008-01-30T12:34:00.000-06:002008-01-30T13:11:06.530-06:00Hey, look at Mii!!!I haven't forgotten about The Other Side. I've actually written the second chapter, which may end up being the first chapter if I take Karly's advice. She's read the second chapter, but she doesn't think that it has any thing to do with Kelly. Boy, is she in for a surprise.<br /><br />But in other news.....<br /><br />I went over to Brandon's house last Saturday night and got to play the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Wii</span>...play on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Wii</span>...play <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Wii</span>...whatever. Hours and hours of fun that resulted in days and days of pain in my shoulder. It was just muscle pain - it's been a while since I swung a tennis <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">racquet</span>, and even longer since I simulated swinging a tennis <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">racquet</span>. The pain finally subsided some time yesterday.<br /><br />In <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Wii</span>, you can "create" yourself, kind of like on "The Office" when Dwight created a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">cyber</span> version of himself, and then created a secret inner circle of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">internet</span> game he was playing so that he could be even further removed from reality. Any way "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Mii</span>" on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Wii</span> is actually better at tennis than the real me. But he's much too pale and he can't sing! (I don't know what that means.)<br /><br />I hit a milestone at or about 5:40 this morning. I ran my 100<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">th</span> mile in the month of January! 100 miles. That's from here to Tuscaloosa and back, almost. Oh fun times. My goal is to run 1,200 miles in 2008. I should end up January with 105 miles, which will help since February is a short month.<br /><br />Oh, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">JRod</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">NatLee</span> are engaged. Not sure if that's still a secret...it hasn't really been a secret for a while, but I think that most of you already know and the betrothal.<br /><br />I'm having some trouble deciding who should get my vote next week. I seriously wish that I could just not vote this year and cast 2 votes in 2012. I did the little 'candidate match' exercise on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">myfoxal</span>.com. McCain was the closest match, but we only agreed on 43% of the questions. That's not very strong. Is it too much to ask for someone to believe in national defense AND education? Are those mutually exclusive items? And everybody wants to FIX Social Security. There is no fixing it! We might can stretch it out a little further, but that would mean cuts in benefits. I would much rather them just be honest with THEMSELVES and say, "You know, we've got enough in the system to get us through the Baby Boomers, but if you were born after 1960, there's not going to be any thing in this for you." It's not really news. My first memory of Social Security was in the late 70s. My mom said, "It's going to be there when you retire." They should build off of her wisdom and adjust capital gains taxes and inheritance taxes accordingly to help us prepare.<br /><br />Next was Mike <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Huckabee</span> (he's a RUNNER!) with 35% and then Duncan Hunter (he's...he's....uhhh?) with 30%. Hunter actually dropped out of the race last 2006. Then, surprisingly, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Barack</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Obama</span>, followed by Rudy Giuliani. Me and Cynthia McKinney, yeah, I don't think that we'd get along. People love <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Obama</span>, and I understand why. He's energetic, he's a dynamic and motivating speaker, and he makes me believe that HE BELIEVES what he's saying. Of course, he won't salute the flag....at least according to what I heard on Rick & B<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">ubba</span> this morning.<br /><br />(That last sentence may come as a surprise to some of you, but I just can't listen to Jay and Al on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">JOX</span> any more.)<br /><br />What are your thoughts?<br /><br />Last season's finale of "Lost" comes on tonight, and tomorrow night is the season <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">premier</span>! Oh, it's going to be good. I'd like to see more Claire. And some guest spots with Maria <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Menounos</span>.<br /><br />There was something else....something else....OH...the boss ladies want us - employees in the department - to write a 'handbook' about what we do every day and how we do it. Would writing blogs fall under Miscellaneous Other, or Communication - Written?King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-5895427036702668762008-01-15T13:04:00.000-06:002008-01-15T16:04:23.986-06:00The Other SideKelly paused at the double doors, either unwilling or unable to find what awaited her on the other side. As a 12 year-old girl, she held the hand of her great-grandmother as death overtook her. Through medical school at Baylor, an internship at Duke, and a fellowship at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Knightsbridge</span> Hospital in London, she had come to realize that regardless of how much medicine, research, care and money is thrown at preserving life, eventually every one reaches the same inevitable, and sometimes painful, fate.<br /><br />Through experience and involvement, Kelly grew to understand death and, in the worst cases, to appreciate it. Though the academics of the process came easily to Kelly, death never numbed her. She was still moved by the loss of a sister, a mother, a father, a wife, and worst of all, a child. She would always try to balance strength and compassion in the presence of a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">patient's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">grieving</span> family, only to be overtaken by emotion once in the privacy of the doctors' lounge, or an on-call sleep room, or an unlocked broom closet.<br /><br />The other side of the door certainly presented an end. Kelly took a deep breath, rehearsed the moment to come once more, and pushed one door open.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-73906890589000918162007-12-24T09:35:00.000-06:002007-12-24T09:59:33.481-06:00Merry ChristmasJust a quick note to say Merry Christmas to each of you. I'd actually like to talk about traditions, how they start, why they end, why it's okay - if not completely necessary and part of life - if new traditions begin, and why it's important for you to accept invitations to be involved in new traditions, but my mom doesn't read this and the Nazis may lock out my access to Blogger as I'm typing.<br /><br />I don't know exactly how long we'll be here, but if any one has any risk management or insurance questions or if any one needs our services, we're here today to help. Anyone? Anybody? Somebody? Please.....hmmmm....no takers.<br /><br />I really wonder how long we're going to have to continue this charade today. It's like they've realized how useless it is for us to be here, but they're afraid that we'll be upset if they tell us to leave at 9:30AM.<br /><br />Here's hoping Santa is nice to you tonight. Merry Christmas.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-89761298734945929862007-12-20T10:02:00.000-06:002007-12-20T10:18:38.066-06:00Goodie Week UpdateJust a quick note to let you know that someone actually brought something novel and tasty to work. Someone brought sliced pork and little rolls for lunch yesterday, and as a side course, they had baked macaroni and cheese in little muffin cups...the result being a little macaroni and cheese muffin. Very tasty because you have to add real cheese to the recipe in order to get the crusty side to the muffin. This couldn't have been hard to make. This is my "guessi<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">cipe"</span> on how to make it....Follow the directions on the box, then add about a 1/2 cup of shredded cheese to the mixture, and spoon in to a greased muffin pan. Bake at 325 until the cheese melts, probably 15 minutes. Give it a try.<br /><br />How bored am I? I just googled to see who Tila Tequila (a/k/a Tila Nguyen) selected.<br /><br />And on the homeowners association election front, it appears that I'm going to be the beneficiary of a little "old row" help. BACK!King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-9596195276567052132007-12-19T09:11:00.000-06:002007-12-19T10:32:46.181-06:00Sleeping on the job...The fun Nazis must be sleeping on the job, because I can access this site today. Maybe they're having their HOLIDAY party where they sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons, or whatever that element of society is playing these days.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Anyhoo</span>, since Karly added me back to her links list - albeit at the bottom - I feel obligated to say something.<br /><br />Dear Boo, I apologize (is there any one left that I haven't apologized to lately). I now understand that self-deprecating humor is only acceptable when it is self-deprecating.<br /><br />This week is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">GOODIE</span> week in our office, which means that people bring food and put it out in the kitchen for people to scarf on all day. Sounds like a good idea, but it's really turned in to an edible version of Dirty Santa. People are just bringing left overs and putting them out there...or they're bringing whatever they found in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">BP</span> on the way to work. I mean, I like an Oatmeal Creme Pie as much as anyone, but buying 4 of them out of the vending machine, cutting them in quarters and putting them on a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Styrofoam</span> plate isn't really what is expected.<br /><br />We have people in our office that don't celebrate Christmas in their homes, so those of us who do celebrate Christmas all go around whispering "Merry Christmas" in passing so as not to offend anyone with our dirty little expression. It's ridiculous, really. Just because someone doesn't celebrate Christmas doesn't make December 25<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">th</span> NOT Christmas. It's still Christmas Day. I mean, peeps in Canada celebrate Boxing Day, but just because Americans rush back to work on the 26<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">th</span> doesn't mean that Boxing Day isn't happening. Not saying 'Christmas' isn't going to make Christmas go away. It all gives me a headache, really.<br /><br />Our neighborhood residents are taking over responsibility of the homeowners association in January. As a new neighborhood, the developer had control of the association until now. Well, we needed 7 Directors in order to transfer power, but at the first call for volunteers, only 1 person stepped forward. At the urging of neighbors, I agreed to volunteer to serve, thinking that we MIGHT get to 7 people. Well, the nominations came out Monday afternoon and there are 12 people who volunteered. That means there's going to be a full-on election for 7 at large Directors. I'm really not in the campaigning mood. One of the candidates stated in her little bio that, "as a substantially younger member or the neighborhood" she had ideas blah, blah, blah. None of residents in the over 50 demographic - which is about 90% of the Stonegate population - wants to hear how much a May 2007 college grad knows about anything....rookie mistake. Jack and I may have to go knock on a few doors, although it will not be a disappointment at all if I'm not elected. The election is January 15<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">th</span>. I'll keep you posted.<br /><br />Jamie Lynn is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">preggers</span>...oh my. Was the story a few years ago that the Spears <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">womenz</span> kicked Daddy out because he objected to ho-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ing</span> the girls out? I bet he wishes that he would have fought a little harder for his girls. Jamie Lynn was the Great White Hope of the Spears family. Now I read that she's going to raise the child in Louisiana so that the kid can have a normal childhood. Good luck with that.<br /><br />Now for a little segment called "I Bet You're Not Watching" where I use my knowledge of regular readers' television viewing habits to come up with a show that is right up their alley, but that they are not watching. You'll understand as we play along. Karly likes her a show revolving around competition...Survivor, The Amazing Race, Duel, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">DWTS</span>....but still, I bet that she is not watching "Clash of the Choirs".<br /><br />I hate "working" this time of year. There is absolutely nothing happening. I'm forced to do work that I've put off for 6 months. The best line that I've heard that fully describes what it's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">like</span> to work this time of year was from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">JRod</span> when he said, "I think I found the end of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Internet</span>."King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-19419762244498436072007-12-03T17:16:00.000-06:002007-12-03T19:18:07.253-06:00Double Down Birthday!Happy Birthday to Michelle, and, though he’ll never read this because the internet is just for porn and other assorted tools of Satan, Happy Birthday to my dad! My mom, spur of the moment, took him to Las Vegas last Saturday morning. They’re coming back tonight. I can’t wait to hear how Las Vegas has nothing on Philadelphia, Mississippi.<br /><br />There were quite a few, but below are a few comments over heard last Friday night at either Cocina Superior or The 19th Hole:<br /><br />“You sound like me.”<br /><br />“It’s like an eclipse.”<br /><br />“You just need to tighten up the pixels is all.”<br /><br />"I'll think of you when I take a bath. I mean, I'll think of you and Leah when I take a bath. I mean...."<br /><br />“You know him! He had a unibrow.”<br /><br />“Her daddy died IN A WAFFLE HOUSE??!!??”<br /><br />“There’s some dirty whores in here BAD.”<br /><br />I haven’t been to a place infested with durrrty whores in quite a while, too long really – not since I lived on 19th Street anyway - but before we get to the 19th Hole, can we discuss La Cocina Superior?<br /><br />Poor Bre and Joseph. I’ve read their names on other blogs, but we’d never met. Hands down they were the nicest couple at the table. The rest of us just try to balance each other out so that some degree of normalcy is maintained, but they are both genuinely nice people who had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting across from Brian and I. As most people know, our wives provide the uplift on the “Socially Acceptable” meter for each of us….or we drag them down, however you prefer to look at it. Now, I’m socially inept which, of course, comes with an implied apology, so I’m really just apologizing for Brian’s behavior. Why does the apology come from me? Because after a few beers, I drag Brian down. It’s really not much of a hill for a mountain climber, but I still feel responsible. Any way, best wishes to B&J this week!<br /><br />I’m not sure who decided that girls would sit on one end of the table and guys on the other, but it worked out pretty well…except for the poor waitress. Note to self, do not ever again tell a waitress that “it really doesn’t have to be right” unless I’ve already gotten my bill. I’m not sure who had all or part of three margaritas, two Corona Lights, the enchiladas, cheese dip, tortillas, and a taco, but you’re welcome. It’s okay, really. Merry Christmas!<br /><br />I was able to get Brandon to agree to do an 8-mile run on my birthday. Actually, I suggested we do a 6-mile run and Brandon somehow bumped it up to 8. That Brandon, always upselling.<br /><br />It was $7 to get in to the 19th Hole (was that the name of the place?). Is that what cover charges are up to now? I mean, I paid $6 to get in a Jump! Little Children show one time, but that was JLC! And it was only me back then, which meant I still had $4 to buy a drink or two…yes, that was a long time ago. The 19th hole was what it was. Girls dancing, guys standing around drinking, and 2 song sets. Did Brandon do that shot or not? I never did see. We left early to relieve the baby sitters and because the baby they were sitting likes to wake up early on Saturdays. Some guy I passed as we were leaving made the dirty whores comment. That’s guy talk for, “I don’t have a shot at any of these girls.”<br /><br />This Saturday night is the annual Christmas party that we started when 5 of us lived in a house on Overton Road. I don’t know how many years ago that was…it started in 1997 I believe, but I’m no historian. Any way, we’ve got to take a present for Dirty Santa…any ideas?King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-45581728516807335822007-11-25T12:28:00.000-06:002007-11-25T13:16:04.098-06:00Game's over, let the hangover begin....I was on vacation the last time that I posted? It feels like I haven't been on vacation for about 3 years.<br /><br />Harry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Gooden</span></span> from the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Southside</span></span> of Birmingham wrote the following Instant <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">SoundOff</span></span> after yesterday's Alabama - Auburn game.<br /><br /><em>If the Louisiana Monroe game was Alabama's 9/11, then the Iron Bowl is Alabama's War on Terror. Alabama got hit from all sides, was completely demoralized, and at the end of the day was no closer to victory than they were 5 years ago.</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>The News</em> refused to print Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Gooden's</span></span> comments. My standards are obviously a little lower.<br /><br />I went to the game in Auburn yesterday. It used to be fun to go to the Iron Bowl when there was some question as to the game's outcome. That hasn't been the case in a long time. As I was reminded several times by the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ass hats</span></span> sitting around me..."4 million dollars will buy you a lot, but it won't buy you a win against the Tigers!!!" Well, war eagle to that I war eagle guess.<br /><br />I may have been to my last Alabama - Auburn game. I don't do well losing, even though I've had a lot of practice and even though I knew that we were going to lose. I text and say things that I really shouldn't say. They aren't nice words, even if they are true. Sorry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">JRod</span></span>. I really hope you had fun showing everybody the toilet paper being thrown in to that dead oak tree and sipping on $14 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">gameday</span></span> lemonade at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Toomers</span></span> Drug.<br /><br />My apologies also go out to all those sitting around me that had to listen to my string of obscenities when, in the fourth quarter, an Alabama defender hit Brandon Cox late giving Auburn a first down and, I assume, continued the drive for their touchdown. I say assume because I left the stadium before the two flags that the referee threw on the play actually hit the ground, leaving in my wake quite a few "damns", "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">dumbasses</span></span>", "retards" (<em>I know</em>), and "sons of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">bitc</span></span>#es don't give two $hit$ whether we win or lose". Nice. I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">someone's</span> dad. Yes, I usually have an emotional hangover for about 3 weeks after every Alabama game that I attend. I had just gotten over mocking the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">LSU</span></span> fan that did jazz hands every time an on-the-field call was overturned on replay during the Alabama - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">LSU</span></span> game.<br /><br />In my defense, being called "TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT" all the way up the ramp did not put me in the best of moods. Why were there so many New York Jets fans in Auburn? Goofy...it was a good thing that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">CousinJim</span> didn't go to the game. He wouldn't have made it to his seat.<br /><br />It was also about 8 degrees in the 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">th</span></span> Circle of Hell that is the west upper deck at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">JERRRRRRDAN</span></span>-HARES. And, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Sodexho</span></span> ran out of hot chocolate and coffee by the middle of the 1st quarter. That happens in Tuscaloosa, too, except it's the opposite. On a 95 degree September Saturday, there will be no ice in Bryant-Denny Stadium.<br /><br />Any way, I left the stadium and started walking. All that I remembered was the we parked somewhere near Momma Goldberg's, just over the railroad tracks. On Wire Road (I swear) I stopped cussing long enough to ask a nice Auburn fan the way to Momma G's. He pointed me in the right direction, and told me that I should try the love. I pray that he was talking about a sandwich. I made it back to the car alone - that is, sans the love...oh, my apologies to the t-shirt lady that offered me a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">gameday</span></span> t-shirt for $5. I don't really want six of them, and it's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">physically</span> impossible to do with those t-shirts what I suggested that you do with them. What seemed like an hour later, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">JRod</span></span> and Miss <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">NatLee</span></span> made it back to the car and we left Auburn for what may be my last time ever. I'm sure they won't miss me any more than I'll miss them.<br /><br />Did y'all know that Bear's dead? He is. He's playing poker in hell with Satan. And cheating.<br /><br />Oh, what else...I had a lot to say, but it all seems stupid now. Yeah, I know, if I didn't post stupid I wouldn't post anything. I've got a pot roast in the slow cooker. Honestly.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-31748946170929602072007-10-06T11:10:00.000-06:002007-10-06T11:30:47.613-06:00VacatingI doubt any one will read this because I've been removed from the blog hub that is Karly's friend list, but I'll give it a try any way. Thank you Katie for sticking with me.<br /><br />I've been on "vacation" since Thursday September 27. Team USA lost the Kiva Cup (again) because I couldn't put a ball in the fairway (again). My handicap should move from it's current 18.6 to a more accurate 29 at the next revision. We did get to see fake boobies for no good reason at all at a dive bar. I haven't told Leah the story yet. I'll tell her tonight after a couple of beers.<br /><br />In the condo with the in-laws this week. Why is it that we have to wash Solo cups and re-use them when we're on vacation? I mean, I don't do that at home, and I'd gladly buy 200 of them just to not have to wash them. I don't get it. If we're going to use them and re-use them, why can't we just use the real glasses? It's goofy if you ask me.<br /><br />As is tradition, Jack has been sick all week with a 102 degree fever. The pharmacist at the Publix was nice enough, and Jarrod and I saw a scared girl buy a pregnancy test and go straight to the restroom. We wanted to stay and see how the movie ended, but we thought that would be rude. Anyway, we thought Jack ate a rock, but I've since decided that he did not. He lo-loves the pool, but he hates the beach. He cannot stand to get sand or dirt on his feet. The flies are awful and they bite.<br /><br />We ate at Captain Dave's last night to A.) avoid drama and B.) as Jarrod said, we can't eat any where as a group unless we have to walk under a fiberglass crab to get to the front door. Jarrod, NatLee, Leah and I are going to The Red Bar tonight. I'll get the chicken with capers and mashed potatoes. Who wants a t-shirt?<br /><br />What happened to Michelle's blog?King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-58763808450829857572007-08-21T17:52:00.000-06:002007-08-21T18:01:53.495-06:00Pen and PaperI've always been one of those people that thinks that you should be able to solve a math problem without the help of a calculator (or functions in an Excel spreadsheet). I don't really know what that has to do with what I'm about to say, but here I go...<br /><br />When I first started a blog, More or Less, it was because Katie and Karly (the two other desk jockeys) got tired of getting my rantings and smart-a$$ remarks in the form of a dozen or more emails a day. So, taking Katie’s “You really need a blog” suggestion, More or Less was created. Though the work product suffered, I stopped emailing people quite so much. (Removing the pen from the paper, if you will.)<br /><br />And then, as we’ve discussed, the Fun Nazis took away my ability to post to, or read, blogs at work. Little surprise here, but the number of posts to The Conch Shack decreased tremendously. To top it off, pen and paper doesn't work any more either because Katie and Karly no longer respond to email in rapid fashion, so I’m essentially incommunicado with that group of friends.<br /><br />Well, today, the email server is down. They installed some new and improved SPAM blocker to our email server. It blocks everything except SPAM. Anyone interested in some really cheap Viagra and Cialis? $1.78 a pill. Let me know. Anyway, so I’m not able to communicate with ANYONE today. I guess that I could use this beige thing on my desk with all the numbered buttons to…I don’t know, CALL someone, but where’s the fun in that?<br /><br />I know that Boo, Jrod, Ziggy, Capt’N Jim, and Skabs are sending emails today. I’ve already been told that I’m “missing some good ones”. I’m almost afraid of the number of emails that are going to flood my inbox once the server is restored.<br /><br />So, here I am. Typing my post in to a Word document that I will then email to my home email address…oops, there’s a flaw in my logic already. I have no email from work. I’ll send it anyway and post this if and when I receive it. I feel like I’m talking to myself.<br /><br />Hey, here’s something that you never, ever want to hear. I walked in the break room today at lunch to retrieve my sandwich from the refrigerator. Two female co-workers were already in there heating up their lunches in the microwave. Just as I walked in, one of them said to the other, “My stomach was a little messed up this morning.” They stopped talking when they saw me, but I wonder how much detail she would have provided had I not walked in..."I mean, it was all busted up and stanky"...I don't know.<br /><br />Who talks about that at work? Who talks about that _______________ (fill in the blank)? Why? Why? I don’t need to know that kind of stuff. I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know.<br /><br />You know what else you never, ever want to hear? Anything that begins with, “When we were in Vegas, Jammy……….” <br /><br />NO, NO, NO!! WHERE IS THE FLAG!!! THAT’S A FLAGRANT PENALTY ON YOU SCARY SNACKS! THAT’S LOSS OF YARDAGE AND LOSS OF DOWN. <br /><br />Even Leah said, “I know PromKing totally made that story up, but you need to tell him to keep that stuff down home, cuz.” (She almost went to Auburn.)<br /><br />Speaking of loss of yardage and loss of down, we’re within two weeks of another college football season. Two weeks before the Junior League lady behind me that's wearing elephant earrings yells “LET’S GO, BIMA!” Two weeks before the first eight notes of the fight song gives be a small case of goose bumps. Two weeks before we see what a $4 million coach can do in 8 short months on the job. Two weeks to hope, and as Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption, “hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”<br /><br />Katie, it was “Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)” by Billy Joel.<br /><br />Until next time…King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-90854384344602881382007-08-01T19:16:00.000-06:002007-08-01T19:20:58.305-06:00Quick PollSince I can't access this site from work, I really can't maintain it regularly. I won't even be able to read the results of this quick poll for two or three days.<br /><br />Should I just close up the Conch Shack?<br /><br />Fun Nazis deserve a good swift kick in the nerts. Freakin' Doom playing bastages.<br /><br />I miss reading about what's happening with you guys. On the upside, I've learned to slow down and really appreciate my 90 minute lunch hour.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33652118.post-71929030439659722742007-07-23T18:56:00.000-06:002007-07-23T19:45:49.404-06:00The No Fun ZoneHi. It's been so long since we talked, I felt like I needed a little ice breaker instead of just jumping right in. That's all I've got. Oh yeah, back in the day, I was a hit at The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Houndstooth</span>.<br /><br />I'm not sure how Harry Potter ends, but it must have been <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">devastating</span> to the peeps (I wanted to call them virgins, but I thought that unfair to virgins) in our IS department. Those fun <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Nazis</span> have blocked access to all <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">blogspot</span>.com sites from our work computers. NO FUN FOR YOU! I can't read any of your stuff, and I can't post any thing from work. What a bunch of kill-joys. Now I can only access my site and all of your sites from home. Like I've got time to do this from the house! Tonight is the exception, though, because Leah had a function of some sort to which guys and kids weren't invited.<br /><br />I used to work through lunch, but if they're going to be that way about it, I'm going to do like everyone else. That is, leave 5 minutes before lunch officially begins, stay gone for an hour and fifteen minutes, then show up with a sack full of Krystals and sit at my desk and eat for another thirty minutes whilst ignoring all responsibility or sense of duty.<br /><br />No, I won't do that. I'm too nice.<br /><br />A wise man once told me, "A job's not worth having if you can't take advantage of it every now and then." No word if he said that before he was fired or after.<br /><br />Anyhoo. What else?<br /><br />OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! Have you heard? Have you seen them? Have you seen their pictures? Did you get invited to the party that TomKat hosted for them?? THEY ARE STEPPING OUT!!!!!!<br /><br />WTF???<br /><br />The best line that I read about them was that he was famous because or her, and she was famous for being somewhat famous.<br /><br />He's a SOCCER PLAYER (injured) AND SHE, NOTHING MORE THAN A SOCCER PLAYER'S WIFE! Oh, she's friends with Katie Holmes! I hope she's had her crazy shot. Over that.<br /><br />A couple of weeks ago, before it rained, I was watering our drought stressed Japanese Maple with the garden hose when I took a sip of water out of the garden hose. Well, Jack saw me do it and he HAD to have a drink. The kid LUVS water, and to drink it out of a garden hose was too much for him to resist. So, they're we were...the tree got a sip, Da got a sip, Jack got a sip, and Jack's shirt got a sip. It made for some really cute pictures and we all had a great time. All of us, that is, except Grandma Lolly. Grnadma Lolly was repulsed by this activity.<br /><br />Two days later, like manna from heaven, Fox News, the Rush Limbaugh Radio Empire or the Sally Struthers Network miraculously ran a story about the dangers of allowing children to drink from garden hoses because of all the bacteria that builds up in the hose. So much for that fun.<br /><br />But I'm telling you, the kid loves water. During his bath, he has taken to filling up his plastic Elmo cup and DRINKING HIS BATH WATER. Inside, I feel like this is a little more dangerous than drinking from a garden hose, but those that know me know that I'm a "choose my battles" type of guy (actually I'm not, because is it really worth all that?), and my battle is with the garden hose. We're not going to tell Lolly that he drinks his bath water. We'll let that be a surprise the next time she babysits. Should be fun. Pee, poot, drink, repeat.<br /><br />Did you guys watch Greek last Saturday night? I saw half of it before I fell asleep. Yes, I'm aware that I fell asleep at 8:30.<br /><br />Kathy Griffin is a funny funny lady.<br /><br />That's really all that I've seen.<br /><br />Lastly, to the interest of no one reading this, I ran a grand total of 17 miles last week. Four 3-mile runs and a 5 miler on Saturday. My goal this week, two 3s, two 4s, and a 6. If I did my math right, that's 20 miles even. Get y'all some of that.King Conchhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06623954594164964905noreply@blogger.com4