Monday, December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas

Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas to each of you. I'd actually like to talk about traditions, how they start, why they end, why it's okay - if not completely necessary and part of life - if new traditions begin, and why it's important for you to accept invitations to be involved in new traditions, but my mom doesn't read this and the Nazis may lock out my access to Blogger as I'm typing.

I don't know exactly how long we'll be here, but if any one has any risk management or insurance questions or if any one needs our services, we're here today to help. Anyone? Anybody? Somebody? takers.

I really wonder how long we're going to have to continue this charade today. It's like they've realized how useless it is for us to be here, but they're afraid that we'll be upset if they tell us to leave at 9:30AM.

Here's hoping Santa is nice to you tonight. Merry Christmas.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Goodie Week Update

Just a quick note to let you know that someone actually brought something novel and tasty to work. Someone brought sliced pork and little rolls for lunch yesterday, and as a side course, they had baked macaroni and cheese in little muffin cups...the result being a little macaroni and cheese muffin. Very tasty because you have to add real cheese to the recipe in order to get the crusty side to the muffin. This couldn't have been hard to make. This is my "guessicipe" on how to make it....Follow the directions on the box, then add about a 1/2 cup of shredded cheese to the mixture, and spoon in to a greased muffin pan. Bake at 325 until the cheese melts, probably 15 minutes. Give it a try.

How bored am I? I just googled to see who Tila Tequila (a/k/a Tila Nguyen) selected.

And on the homeowners association election front, it appears that I'm going to be the beneficiary of a little "old row" help. BACK!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Sleeping on the job...

The fun Nazis must be sleeping on the job, because I can access this site today. Maybe they're having their HOLIDAY party where they sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons, or whatever that element of society is playing these days.

Anyhoo, since Karly added me back to her links list - albeit at the bottom - I feel obligated to say something.

Dear Boo, I apologize (is there any one left that I haven't apologized to lately). I now understand that self-deprecating humor is only acceptable when it is self-deprecating.

This week is GOODIE week in our office, which means that people bring food and put it out in the kitchen for people to scarf on all day. Sounds like a good idea, but it's really turned in to an edible version of Dirty Santa. People are just bringing left overs and putting them out there...or they're bringing whatever they found in the BP on the way to work. I mean, I like an Oatmeal Creme Pie as much as anyone, but buying 4 of them out of the vending machine, cutting them in quarters and putting them on a Styrofoam plate isn't really what is expected.

We have people in our office that don't celebrate Christmas in their homes, so those of us who do celebrate Christmas all go around whispering "Merry Christmas" in passing so as not to offend anyone with our dirty little expression. It's ridiculous, really. Just because someone doesn't celebrate Christmas doesn't make December 25th NOT Christmas. It's still Christmas Day. I mean, peeps in Canada celebrate Boxing Day, but just because Americans rush back to work on the 26th doesn't mean that Boxing Day isn't happening. Not saying 'Christmas' isn't going to make Christmas go away. It all gives me a headache, really.

Our neighborhood residents are taking over responsibility of the homeowners association in January. As a new neighborhood, the developer had control of the association until now. Well, we needed 7 Directors in order to transfer power, but at the first call for volunteers, only 1 person stepped forward. At the urging of neighbors, I agreed to volunteer to serve, thinking that we MIGHT get to 7 people. Well, the nominations came out Monday afternoon and there are 12 people who volunteered. That means there's going to be a full-on election for 7 at large Directors. I'm really not in the campaigning mood. One of the candidates stated in her little bio that, "as a substantially younger member or the neighborhood" she had ideas blah, blah, blah. None of residents in the over 50 demographic - which is about 90% of the Stonegate population - wants to hear how much a May 2007 college grad knows about anything....rookie mistake. Jack and I may have to go knock on a few doors, although it will not be a disappointment at all if I'm not elected. The election is January 15th. I'll keep you posted.

Jamie Lynn is preggers...oh my. Was the story a few years ago that the Spears womenz kicked Daddy out because he objected to ho-ing the girls out? I bet he wishes that he would have fought a little harder for his girls. Jamie Lynn was the Great White Hope of the Spears family. Now I read that she's going to raise the child in Louisiana so that the kid can have a normal childhood. Good luck with that.

Now for a little segment called "I Bet You're Not Watching" where I use my knowledge of regular readers' television viewing habits to come up with a show that is right up their alley, but that they are not watching. You'll understand as we play along. Karly likes her a show revolving around competition...Survivor, The Amazing Race, Duel, DWTS....but still, I bet that she is not watching "Clash of the Choirs".

I hate "working" this time of year. There is absolutely nothing happening. I'm forced to do work that I've put off for 6 months. The best line that I've heard that fully describes what it's like to work this time of year was from JRod when he said, "I think I found the end of the Internet."

Monday, December 03, 2007

Double Down Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Michelle, and, though he’ll never read this because the internet is just for porn and other assorted tools of Satan, Happy Birthday to my dad! My mom, spur of the moment, took him to Las Vegas last Saturday morning. They’re coming back tonight. I can’t wait to hear how Las Vegas has nothing on Philadelphia, Mississippi.

There were quite a few, but below are a few comments over heard last Friday night at either Cocina Superior or The 19th Hole:

“You sound like me.”

“It’s like an eclipse.”

“You just need to tighten up the pixels is all.”

"I'll think of you when I take a bath. I mean, I'll think of you and Leah when I take a bath. I mean...."

“You know him! He had a unibrow.”

“Her daddy died IN A WAFFLE HOUSE??!!??”

“There’s some dirty whores in here BAD.”

I haven’t been to a place infested with durrrty whores in quite a while, too long really – not since I lived on 19th Street anyway - but before we get to the 19th Hole, can we discuss La Cocina Superior?

Poor Bre and Joseph. I’ve read their names on other blogs, but we’d never met. Hands down they were the nicest couple at the table. The rest of us just try to balance each other out so that some degree of normalcy is maintained, but they are both genuinely nice people who had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting across from Brian and I. As most people know, our wives provide the uplift on the “Socially Acceptable” meter for each of us….or we drag them down, however you prefer to look at it. Now, I’m socially inept which, of course, comes with an implied apology, so I’m really just apologizing for Brian’s behavior. Why does the apology come from me? Because after a few beers, I drag Brian down. It’s really not much of a hill for a mountain climber, but I still feel responsible. Any way, best wishes to B&J this week!

I’m not sure who decided that girls would sit on one end of the table and guys on the other, but it worked out pretty well…except for the poor waitress. Note to self, do not ever again tell a waitress that “it really doesn’t have to be right” unless I’ve already gotten my bill. I’m not sure who had all or part of three margaritas, two Corona Lights, the enchiladas, cheese dip, tortillas, and a taco, but you’re welcome. It’s okay, really. Merry Christmas!

I was able to get Brandon to agree to do an 8-mile run on my birthday. Actually, I suggested we do a 6-mile run and Brandon somehow bumped it up to 8. That Brandon, always upselling.

It was $7 to get in to the 19th Hole (was that the name of the place?). Is that what cover charges are up to now? I mean, I paid $6 to get in a Jump! Little Children show one time, but that was JLC! And it was only me back then, which meant I still had $4 to buy a drink or two…yes, that was a long time ago. The 19th hole was what it was. Girls dancing, guys standing around drinking, and 2 song sets. Did Brandon do that shot or not? I never did see. We left early to relieve the baby sitters and because the baby they were sitting likes to wake up early on Saturdays. Some guy I passed as we were leaving made the dirty whores comment. That’s guy talk for, “I don’t have a shot at any of these girls.”

This Saturday night is the annual Christmas party that we started when 5 of us lived in a house on Overton Road. I don’t know how many years ago that was…it started in 1997 I believe, but I’m no historian. Any way, we’ve got to take a present for Dirty Santa…any ideas?