Friday, April 06, 2007

Limping in to the Weekend.

Five Mondays this week. That's got to be some type of record.

I meant to tell you guys, I stepped on the treadmill at 4:54 Wednesday morning and powered up my radio. On 103.7 the Q I heard this:

Billy Jean is not my lover
She just a girl
Who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son

Of course I listened. Even turned up the volume a little. I think you need to know these things.

Just when I started to give some credence to Global Warming, there’s a hard freeze warning in effect for the next two nights. I’m wearing out my heat pump switching it from ‘Heat’ at night to ‘Cool’ during the day. Remember that one of the biggest snow storms to hit our area in the past 30 years occurred on or about April 6, 1982. Eight inches of snow that lasted for about four days.

LC HAS A SEX TAPE COMING OUT??? That’s the story I heard from Perez Hilton via The Sports Guy’s running diary of Dice-K’s debut (the 11:48 entry for those playing along at home). I’m a little shocked. I must say, if I were going to rank the girls from Laguna Beach/The Hills that WOULD NOT have appeared in a sex tape, LC would have been right below Taylor. I’d have bet that Kristin would show up nude somewhere – and she still might, but I thought LC was a little more solid.

Of course, she did pine after Stephen for years and years. And she could only talk to Jason between his trips to the snorter, which didn't seem to bother her at all. Some one that needy would definitely allow sexcapades to be caught on film if that’s what made her man happy. I would love to be a fly on Lisa Love’s wall when she talks to Lauren about this (just go along with it):

LL: And Lauren. Your boyfriend

LC: Ex-boyfriend.

LL: Ex-boyfriend. Current convict. Jason is his name, right?

LC: Um hmm.

LL: You didn’t go to Paris so that you could rent a house with him and make smut films.

LC: They’re not smut films.

LL: Okay, and Penthouse is an art magazine. Regardless, that’s not the image we’re trying to foster here at Teen Vogue, at least not openly. I don’t think this is going to work out. Good luck to you.

LC: Rolls her eyes, gets up and leaves.

LL: Sits smugly behind her desk with her look of feigned interest.

Lauren should have watched this PSA from The Office.

People always told me
Be careful who you love
Don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts
(Don’t break no hearts)

Good luck getting that out of your head.

2 comments:

Lee said...

I am shocked by this tape as well. By the way...do you have a "homeboy phone"? I know I don't, but I also wasn't a born player.

Earl still comes on...I miss me some Oh Snap!

Karly said...

You so nailed the tone of the imaginary conversation.