If you find yourself at Don Pepe's and your child spots the GIGANTIC gumball machine that screams to small children like a lighthouse to lost sailors, and your child starts screaming "BALLL, BALLLL, BAAALLLLLLL" and cries to the point that you decide to just get him a gumball so that he will stop crying so that you can have one bite of your tacos al carbon (steak), don't you dare ask the bartender to break a dollar for you because he, "no make no CORT-TAIRS".
Tu frikkin chancho.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Hey, look at Mii!!!
I haven't forgotten about The Other Side. I've actually written the second chapter, which may end up being the first chapter if I take Karly's advice. She's read the second chapter, but she doesn't think that it has any thing to do with Kelly. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
But in other news.....
I went over to Brandon's house last Saturday night and got to play the Wii...play on the Wii...play Wii...whatever. Hours and hours of fun that resulted in days and days of pain in my shoulder. It was just muscle pain - it's been a while since I swung a tennis racquet, and even longer since I simulated swinging a tennis racquet. The pain finally subsided some time yesterday.
In Wii, you can "create" yourself, kind of like on "The Office" when Dwight created a cyber version of himself, and then created a secret inner circle of the internet game he was playing so that he could be even further removed from reality. Any way "Mii" on Wii is actually better at tennis than the real me. But he's much too pale and he can't sing! (I don't know what that means.)
I hit a milestone at or about 5:40 this morning. I ran my 100th mile in the month of January! 100 miles. That's from here to Tuscaloosa and back, almost. Oh fun times. My goal is to run 1,200 miles in 2008. I should end up January with 105 miles, which will help since February is a short month.
Oh, and JRod and NatLee are engaged. Not sure if that's still a secret...it hasn't really been a secret for a while, but I think that most of you already know and the betrothal.
I'm having some trouble deciding who should get my vote next week. I seriously wish that I could just not vote this year and cast 2 votes in 2012. I did the little 'candidate match' exercise on myfoxal.com. McCain was the closest match, but we only agreed on 43% of the questions. That's not very strong. Is it too much to ask for someone to believe in national defense AND education? Are those mutually exclusive items? And everybody wants to FIX Social Security. There is no fixing it! We might can stretch it out a little further, but that would mean cuts in benefits. I would much rather them just be honest with THEMSELVES and say, "You know, we've got enough in the system to get us through the Baby Boomers, but if you were born after 1960, there's not going to be any thing in this for you." It's not really news. My first memory of Social Security was in the late 70s. My mom said, "It's going to be there when you retire." They should build off of her wisdom and adjust capital gains taxes and inheritance taxes accordingly to help us prepare.
Next was Mike Huckabee (he's a RUNNER!) with 35% and then Duncan Hunter (he's...he's....uhhh?) with 30%. Hunter actually dropped out of the race last 2006. Then, surprisingly, Barack Obama, followed by Rudy Giuliani. Me and Cynthia McKinney, yeah, I don't think that we'd get along. People love Obama, and I understand why. He's energetic, he's a dynamic and motivating speaker, and he makes me believe that HE BELIEVES what he's saying. Of course, he won't salute the flag....at least according to what I heard on Rick & Bubba this morning.
(That last sentence may come as a surprise to some of you, but I just can't listen to Jay and Al on JOX any more.)
What are your thoughts?
Last season's finale of "Lost" comes on tonight, and tomorrow night is the season premier! Oh, it's going to be good. I'd like to see more Claire. And some guest spots with Maria Menounos.
There was something else....something else....OH...the boss ladies want us - employees in the department - to write a 'handbook' about what we do every day and how we do it. Would writing blogs fall under Miscellaneous Other, or Communication - Written?
But in other news.....
I went over to Brandon's house last Saturday night and got to play the Wii...play on the Wii...play Wii...whatever. Hours and hours of fun that resulted in days and days of pain in my shoulder. It was just muscle pain - it's been a while since I swung a tennis racquet, and even longer since I simulated swinging a tennis racquet. The pain finally subsided some time yesterday.
In Wii, you can "create" yourself, kind of like on "The Office" when Dwight created a cyber version of himself, and then created a secret inner circle of the internet game he was playing so that he could be even further removed from reality. Any way "Mii" on Wii is actually better at tennis than the real me. But he's much too pale and he can't sing! (I don't know what that means.)
I hit a milestone at or about 5:40 this morning. I ran my 100th mile in the month of January! 100 miles. That's from here to Tuscaloosa and back, almost. Oh fun times. My goal is to run 1,200 miles in 2008. I should end up January with 105 miles, which will help since February is a short month.
Oh, and JRod and NatLee are engaged. Not sure if that's still a secret...it hasn't really been a secret for a while, but I think that most of you already know and the betrothal.
I'm having some trouble deciding who should get my vote next week. I seriously wish that I could just not vote this year and cast 2 votes in 2012. I did the little 'candidate match' exercise on myfoxal.com. McCain was the closest match, but we only agreed on 43% of the questions. That's not very strong. Is it too much to ask for someone to believe in national defense AND education? Are those mutually exclusive items? And everybody wants to FIX Social Security. There is no fixing it! We might can stretch it out a little further, but that would mean cuts in benefits. I would much rather them just be honest with THEMSELVES and say, "You know, we've got enough in the system to get us through the Baby Boomers, but if you were born after 1960, there's not going to be any thing in this for you." It's not really news. My first memory of Social Security was in the late 70s. My mom said, "It's going to be there when you retire." They should build off of her wisdom and adjust capital gains taxes and inheritance taxes accordingly to help us prepare.
Next was Mike Huckabee (he's a RUNNER!) with 35% and then Duncan Hunter (he's...he's....uhhh?) with 30%. Hunter actually dropped out of the race last 2006. Then, surprisingly, Barack Obama, followed by Rudy Giuliani. Me and Cynthia McKinney, yeah, I don't think that we'd get along. People love Obama, and I understand why. He's energetic, he's a dynamic and motivating speaker, and he makes me believe that HE BELIEVES what he's saying. Of course, he won't salute the flag....at least according to what I heard on Rick & Bubba this morning.
(That last sentence may come as a surprise to some of you, but I just can't listen to Jay and Al on JOX any more.)
What are your thoughts?
Last season's finale of "Lost" comes on tonight, and tomorrow night is the season premier! Oh, it's going to be good. I'd like to see more Claire. And some guest spots with Maria Menounos.
There was something else....something else....OH...the boss ladies want us - employees in the department - to write a 'handbook' about what we do every day and how we do it. Would writing blogs fall under Miscellaneous Other, or Communication - Written?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Other Side
Kelly paused at the double doors, either unwilling or unable to find what awaited her on the other side. As a 12 year-old girl, she held the hand of her great-grandmother as death overtook her. Through medical school at Baylor, an internship at Duke, and a fellowship at Knightsbridge Hospital in London, she had come to realize that regardless of how much medicine, research, care and money is thrown at preserving life, eventually every one reaches the same inevitable, and sometimes painful, fate.
Through experience and involvement, Kelly grew to understand death and, in the worst cases, to appreciate it. Though the academics of the process came easily to Kelly, death never numbed her. She was still moved by the loss of a sister, a mother, a father, a wife, and worst of all, a child. She would always try to balance strength and compassion in the presence of a patient's grieving family, only to be overtaken by emotion once in the privacy of the doctors' lounge, or an on-call sleep room, or an unlocked broom closet.
The other side of the door certainly presented an end. Kelly took a deep breath, rehearsed the moment to come once more, and pushed one door open.
Through experience and involvement, Kelly grew to understand death and, in the worst cases, to appreciate it. Though the academics of the process came easily to Kelly, death never numbed her. She was still moved by the loss of a sister, a mother, a father, a wife, and worst of all, a child. She would always try to balance strength and compassion in the presence of a patient's grieving family, only to be overtaken by emotion once in the privacy of the doctors' lounge, or an on-call sleep room, or an unlocked broom closet.
The other side of the door certainly presented an end. Kelly took a deep breath, rehearsed the moment to come once more, and pushed one door open.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas
Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas to each of you. I'd actually like to talk about traditions, how they start, why they end, why it's okay - if not completely necessary and part of life - if new traditions begin, and why it's important for you to accept invitations to be involved in new traditions, but my mom doesn't read this and the Nazis may lock out my access to Blogger as I'm typing.
I don't know exactly how long we'll be here, but if any one has any risk management or insurance questions or if any one needs our services, we're here today to help. Anyone? Anybody? Somebody? Please.....hmmmm....no takers.
I really wonder how long we're going to have to continue this charade today. It's like they've realized how useless it is for us to be here, but they're afraid that we'll be upset if they tell us to leave at 9:30AM.
Here's hoping Santa is nice to you tonight. Merry Christmas.
I don't know exactly how long we'll be here, but if any one has any risk management or insurance questions or if any one needs our services, we're here today to help. Anyone? Anybody? Somebody? Please.....hmmmm....no takers.
I really wonder how long we're going to have to continue this charade today. It's like they've realized how useless it is for us to be here, but they're afraid that we'll be upset if they tell us to leave at 9:30AM.
Here's hoping Santa is nice to you tonight. Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Goodie Week Update
Just a quick note to let you know that someone actually brought something novel and tasty to work. Someone brought sliced pork and little rolls for lunch yesterday, and as a side course, they had baked macaroni and cheese in little muffin cups...the result being a little macaroni and cheese muffin. Very tasty because you have to add real cheese to the recipe in order to get the crusty side to the muffin. This couldn't have been hard to make. This is my "guessicipe" on how to make it....Follow the directions on the box, then add about a 1/2 cup of shredded cheese to the mixture, and spoon in to a greased muffin pan. Bake at 325 until the cheese melts, probably 15 minutes. Give it a try.
How bored am I? I just googled to see who Tila Tequila (a/k/a Tila Nguyen) selected.
And on the homeowners association election front, it appears that I'm going to be the beneficiary of a little "old row" help. BACK!
How bored am I? I just googled to see who Tila Tequila (a/k/a Tila Nguyen) selected.
And on the homeowners association election front, it appears that I'm going to be the beneficiary of a little "old row" help. BACK!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Sleeping on the job...
The fun Nazis must be sleeping on the job, because I can access this site today. Maybe they're having their HOLIDAY party where they sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons, or whatever that element of society is playing these days.
Anyhoo, since Karly added me back to her links list - albeit at the bottom - I feel obligated to say something.
Dear Boo, I apologize (is there any one left that I haven't apologized to lately). I now understand that self-deprecating humor is only acceptable when it is self-deprecating.
This week is GOODIE week in our office, which means that people bring food and put it out in the kitchen for people to scarf on all day. Sounds like a good idea, but it's really turned in to an edible version of Dirty Santa. People are just bringing left overs and putting them out there...or they're bringing whatever they found in the BP on the way to work. I mean, I like an Oatmeal Creme Pie as much as anyone, but buying 4 of them out of the vending machine, cutting them in quarters and putting them on a Styrofoam plate isn't really what is expected.
We have people in our office that don't celebrate Christmas in their homes, so those of us who do celebrate Christmas all go around whispering "Merry Christmas" in passing so as not to offend anyone with our dirty little expression. It's ridiculous, really. Just because someone doesn't celebrate Christmas doesn't make December 25th NOT Christmas. It's still Christmas Day. I mean, peeps in Canada celebrate Boxing Day, but just because Americans rush back to work on the 26th doesn't mean that Boxing Day isn't happening. Not saying 'Christmas' isn't going to make Christmas go away. It all gives me a headache, really.
Our neighborhood residents are taking over responsibility of the homeowners association in January. As a new neighborhood, the developer had control of the association until now. Well, we needed 7 Directors in order to transfer power, but at the first call for volunteers, only 1 person stepped forward. At the urging of neighbors, I agreed to volunteer to serve, thinking that we MIGHT get to 7 people. Well, the nominations came out Monday afternoon and there are 12 people who volunteered. That means there's going to be a full-on election for 7 at large Directors. I'm really not in the campaigning mood. One of the candidates stated in her little bio that, "as a substantially younger member or the neighborhood" she had ideas blah, blah, blah. None of residents in the over 50 demographic - which is about 90% of the Stonegate population - wants to hear how much a May 2007 college grad knows about anything....rookie mistake. Jack and I may have to go knock on a few doors, although it will not be a disappointment at all if I'm not elected. The election is January 15th. I'll keep you posted.
Jamie Lynn is preggers...oh my. Was the story a few years ago that the Spears womenz kicked Daddy out because he objected to ho-ing the girls out? I bet he wishes that he would have fought a little harder for his girls. Jamie Lynn was the Great White Hope of the Spears family. Now I read that she's going to raise the child in Louisiana so that the kid can have a normal childhood. Good luck with that.
Now for a little segment called "I Bet You're Not Watching" where I use my knowledge of regular readers' television viewing habits to come up with a show that is right up their alley, but that they are not watching. You'll understand as we play along. Karly likes her a show revolving around competition...Survivor, The Amazing Race, Duel, DWTS....but still, I bet that she is not watching "Clash of the Choirs".
I hate "working" this time of year. There is absolutely nothing happening. I'm forced to do work that I've put off for 6 months. The best line that I've heard that fully describes what it's like to work this time of year was from JRod when he said, "I think I found the end of the Internet."
Anyhoo, since Karly added me back to her links list - albeit at the bottom - I feel obligated to say something.
Dear Boo, I apologize (is there any one left that I haven't apologized to lately). I now understand that self-deprecating humor is only acceptable when it is self-deprecating.
This week is GOODIE week in our office, which means that people bring food and put it out in the kitchen for people to scarf on all day. Sounds like a good idea, but it's really turned in to an edible version of Dirty Santa. People are just bringing left overs and putting them out there...or they're bringing whatever they found in the BP on the way to work. I mean, I like an Oatmeal Creme Pie as much as anyone, but buying 4 of them out of the vending machine, cutting them in quarters and putting them on a Styrofoam plate isn't really what is expected.
We have people in our office that don't celebrate Christmas in their homes, so those of us who do celebrate Christmas all go around whispering "Merry Christmas" in passing so as not to offend anyone with our dirty little expression. It's ridiculous, really. Just because someone doesn't celebrate Christmas doesn't make December 25th NOT Christmas. It's still Christmas Day. I mean, peeps in Canada celebrate Boxing Day, but just because Americans rush back to work on the 26th doesn't mean that Boxing Day isn't happening. Not saying 'Christmas' isn't going to make Christmas go away. It all gives me a headache, really.
Our neighborhood residents are taking over responsibility of the homeowners association in January. As a new neighborhood, the developer had control of the association until now. Well, we needed 7 Directors in order to transfer power, but at the first call for volunteers, only 1 person stepped forward. At the urging of neighbors, I agreed to volunteer to serve, thinking that we MIGHT get to 7 people. Well, the nominations came out Monday afternoon and there are 12 people who volunteered. That means there's going to be a full-on election for 7 at large Directors. I'm really not in the campaigning mood. One of the candidates stated in her little bio that, "as a substantially younger member or the neighborhood" she had ideas blah, blah, blah. None of residents in the over 50 demographic - which is about 90% of the Stonegate population - wants to hear how much a May 2007 college grad knows about anything....rookie mistake. Jack and I may have to go knock on a few doors, although it will not be a disappointment at all if I'm not elected. The election is January 15th. I'll keep you posted.
Jamie Lynn is preggers...oh my. Was the story a few years ago that the Spears womenz kicked Daddy out because he objected to ho-ing the girls out? I bet he wishes that he would have fought a little harder for his girls. Jamie Lynn was the Great White Hope of the Spears family. Now I read that she's going to raise the child in Louisiana so that the kid can have a normal childhood. Good luck with that.
Now for a little segment called "I Bet You're Not Watching" where I use my knowledge of regular readers' television viewing habits to come up with a show that is right up their alley, but that they are not watching. You'll understand as we play along. Karly likes her a show revolving around competition...Survivor, The Amazing Race, Duel, DWTS....but still, I bet that she is not watching "Clash of the Choirs".
I hate "working" this time of year. There is absolutely nothing happening. I'm forced to do work that I've put off for 6 months. The best line that I've heard that fully describes what it's like to work this time of year was from JRod when he said, "I think I found the end of the Internet."
Monday, December 03, 2007
Double Down Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Michelle, and, though he’ll never read this because the internet is just for porn and other assorted tools of Satan, Happy Birthday to my dad! My mom, spur of the moment, took him to Las Vegas last Saturday morning. They’re coming back tonight. I can’t wait to hear how Las Vegas has nothing on Philadelphia, Mississippi.
There were quite a few, but below are a few comments over heard last Friday night at either Cocina Superior or The 19th Hole:
“You sound like me.”
“It’s like an eclipse.”
“You just need to tighten up the pixels is all.”
"I'll think of you when I take a bath. I mean, I'll think of you and Leah when I take a bath. I mean...."
“You know him! He had a unibrow.”
“Her daddy died IN A WAFFLE HOUSE??!!??”
“There’s some dirty whores in here BAD.”
I haven’t been to a place infested with durrrty whores in quite a while, too long really – not since I lived on 19th Street anyway - but before we get to the 19th Hole, can we discuss La Cocina Superior?
Poor Bre and Joseph. I’ve read their names on other blogs, but we’d never met. Hands down they were the nicest couple at the table. The rest of us just try to balance each other out so that some degree of normalcy is maintained, but they are both genuinely nice people who had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting across from Brian and I. As most people know, our wives provide the uplift on the “Socially Acceptable” meter for each of us….or we drag them down, however you prefer to look at it. Now, I’m socially inept which, of course, comes with an implied apology, so I’m really just apologizing for Brian’s behavior. Why does the apology come from me? Because after a few beers, I drag Brian down. It’s really not much of a hill for a mountain climber, but I still feel responsible. Any way, best wishes to B&J this week!
I’m not sure who decided that girls would sit on one end of the table and guys on the other, but it worked out pretty well…except for the poor waitress. Note to self, do not ever again tell a waitress that “it really doesn’t have to be right” unless I’ve already gotten my bill. I’m not sure who had all or part of three margaritas, two Corona Lights, the enchiladas, cheese dip, tortillas, and a taco, but you’re welcome. It’s okay, really. Merry Christmas!
I was able to get Brandon to agree to do an 8-mile run on my birthday. Actually, I suggested we do a 6-mile run and Brandon somehow bumped it up to 8. That Brandon, always upselling.
It was $7 to get in to the 19th Hole (was that the name of the place?). Is that what cover charges are up to now? I mean, I paid $6 to get in a Jump! Little Children show one time, but that was JLC! And it was only me back then, which meant I still had $4 to buy a drink or two…yes, that was a long time ago. The 19th hole was what it was. Girls dancing, guys standing around drinking, and 2 song sets. Did Brandon do that shot or not? I never did see. We left early to relieve the baby sitters and because the baby they were sitting likes to wake up early on Saturdays. Some guy I passed as we were leaving made the dirty whores comment. That’s guy talk for, “I don’t have a shot at any of these girls.”
This Saturday night is the annual Christmas party that we started when 5 of us lived in a house on Overton Road. I don’t know how many years ago that was…it started in 1997 I believe, but I’m no historian. Any way, we’ve got to take a present for Dirty Santa…any ideas?
There were quite a few, but below are a few comments over heard last Friday night at either Cocina Superior or The 19th Hole:
“You sound like me.”
“It’s like an eclipse.”
“You just need to tighten up the pixels is all.”
"I'll think of you when I take a bath. I mean, I'll think of you and Leah when I take a bath. I mean...."
“You know him! He had a unibrow.”
“Her daddy died IN A WAFFLE HOUSE??!!??”
“There’s some dirty whores in here BAD.”
I haven’t been to a place infested with durrrty whores in quite a while, too long really – not since I lived on 19th Street anyway - but before we get to the 19th Hole, can we discuss La Cocina Superior?
Poor Bre and Joseph. I’ve read their names on other blogs, but we’d never met. Hands down they were the nicest couple at the table. The rest of us just try to balance each other out so that some degree of normalcy is maintained, but they are both genuinely nice people who had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting across from Brian and I. As most people know, our wives provide the uplift on the “Socially Acceptable” meter for each of us….or we drag them down, however you prefer to look at it. Now, I’m socially inept which, of course, comes with an implied apology, so I’m really just apologizing for Brian’s behavior. Why does the apology come from me? Because after a few beers, I drag Brian down. It’s really not much of a hill for a mountain climber, but I still feel responsible. Any way, best wishes to B&J this week!
I’m not sure who decided that girls would sit on one end of the table and guys on the other, but it worked out pretty well…except for the poor waitress. Note to self, do not ever again tell a waitress that “it really doesn’t have to be right” unless I’ve already gotten my bill. I’m not sure who had all or part of three margaritas, two Corona Lights, the enchiladas, cheese dip, tortillas, and a taco, but you’re welcome. It’s okay, really. Merry Christmas!
I was able to get Brandon to agree to do an 8-mile run on my birthday. Actually, I suggested we do a 6-mile run and Brandon somehow bumped it up to 8. That Brandon, always upselling.
It was $7 to get in to the 19th Hole (was that the name of the place?). Is that what cover charges are up to now? I mean, I paid $6 to get in a Jump! Little Children show one time, but that was JLC! And it was only me back then, which meant I still had $4 to buy a drink or two…yes, that was a long time ago. The 19th hole was what it was. Girls dancing, guys standing around drinking, and 2 song sets. Did Brandon do that shot or not? I never did see. We left early to relieve the baby sitters and because the baby they were sitting likes to wake up early on Saturdays. Some guy I passed as we were leaving made the dirty whores comment. That’s guy talk for, “I don’t have a shot at any of these girls.”
This Saturday night is the annual Christmas party that we started when 5 of us lived in a house on Overton Road. I don’t know how many years ago that was…it started in 1997 I believe, but I’m no historian. Any way, we’ve got to take a present for Dirty Santa…any ideas?
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Game's over, let the hangover begin....
I was on vacation the last time that I posted? It feels like I haven't been on vacation for about 3 years.
Harry Gooden from the Southside of Birmingham wrote the following Instant SoundOff after yesterday's Alabama - Auburn game.
If the Louisiana Monroe game was Alabama's 9/11, then the Iron Bowl is Alabama's War on Terror. Alabama got hit from all sides, was completely demoralized, and at the end of the day was no closer to victory than they were 5 years ago.
The News refused to print Mr. Gooden's comments. My standards are obviously a little lower.
I went to the game in Auburn yesterday. It used to be fun to go to the Iron Bowl when there was some question as to the game's outcome. That hasn't been the case in a long time. As I was reminded several times by the ass hats sitting around me..."4 million dollars will buy you a lot, but it won't buy you a win against the Tigers!!!" Well, war eagle to that I war eagle guess.
I may have been to my last Alabama - Auburn game. I don't do well losing, even though I've had a lot of practice and even though I knew that we were going to lose. I text and say things that I really shouldn't say. They aren't nice words, even if they are true. Sorry JRod. I really hope you had fun showing everybody the toilet paper being thrown in to that dead oak tree and sipping on $14 gameday lemonade at Toomers Drug.
My apologies also go out to all those sitting around me that had to listen to my string of obscenities when, in the fourth quarter, an Alabama defender hit Brandon Cox late giving Auburn a first down and, I assume, continued the drive for their touchdown. I say assume because I left the stadium before the two flags that the referee threw on the play actually hit the ground, leaving in my wake quite a few "damns", "dumbasses", "retards" (I know), and "sons of bitc#es don't give two $hit$ whether we win or lose". Nice. I'm someone's dad. Yes, I usually have an emotional hangover for about 3 weeks after every Alabama game that I attend. I had just gotten over mocking the LSU fan that did jazz hands every time an on-the-field call was overturned on replay during the Alabama - LSU game.
In my defense, being called "TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT" all the way up the ramp did not put me in the best of moods. Why were there so many New York Jets fans in Auburn? Goofy...it was a good thing that CousinJim didn't go to the game. He wouldn't have made it to his seat.
It was also about 8 degrees in the 8th Circle of Hell that is the west upper deck at JERRRRRRDAN-HARES. And, Sodexho ran out of hot chocolate and coffee by the middle of the 1st quarter. That happens in Tuscaloosa, too, except it's the opposite. On a 95 degree September Saturday, there will be no ice in Bryant-Denny Stadium.
Any way, I left the stadium and started walking. All that I remembered was the we parked somewhere near Momma Goldberg's, just over the railroad tracks. On Wire Road (I swear) I stopped cussing long enough to ask a nice Auburn fan the way to Momma G's. He pointed me in the right direction, and told me that I should try the love. I pray that he was talking about a sandwich. I made it back to the car alone - that is, sans the love...oh, my apologies to the t-shirt lady that offered me a gameday t-shirt for $5. I don't really want six of them, and it's physically impossible to do with those t-shirts what I suggested that you do with them. What seemed like an hour later, JRod and Miss NatLee made it back to the car and we left Auburn for what may be my last time ever. I'm sure they won't miss me any more than I'll miss them.
Did y'all know that Bear's dead? He is. He's playing poker in hell with Satan. And cheating.
Oh, what else...I had a lot to say, but it all seems stupid now. Yeah, I know, if I didn't post stupid I wouldn't post anything. I've got a pot roast in the slow cooker. Honestly.
Harry Gooden from the Southside of Birmingham wrote the following Instant SoundOff after yesterday's Alabama - Auburn game.
If the Louisiana Monroe game was Alabama's 9/11, then the Iron Bowl is Alabama's War on Terror. Alabama got hit from all sides, was completely demoralized, and at the end of the day was no closer to victory than they were 5 years ago.
The News refused to print Mr. Gooden's comments. My standards are obviously a little lower.
I went to the game in Auburn yesterday. It used to be fun to go to the Iron Bowl when there was some question as to the game's outcome. That hasn't been the case in a long time. As I was reminded several times by the ass hats sitting around me..."4 million dollars will buy you a lot, but it won't buy you a win against the Tigers!!!" Well, war eagle to that I war eagle guess.
I may have been to my last Alabama - Auburn game. I don't do well losing, even though I've had a lot of practice and even though I knew that we were going to lose. I text and say things that I really shouldn't say. They aren't nice words, even if they are true. Sorry JRod. I really hope you had fun showing everybody the toilet paper being thrown in to that dead oak tree and sipping on $14 gameday lemonade at Toomers Drug.
My apologies also go out to all those sitting around me that had to listen to my string of obscenities when, in the fourth quarter, an Alabama defender hit Brandon Cox late giving Auburn a first down and, I assume, continued the drive for their touchdown. I say assume because I left the stadium before the two flags that the referee threw on the play actually hit the ground, leaving in my wake quite a few "damns", "dumbasses", "retards" (I know), and "sons of bitc#es don't give two $hit$ whether we win or lose". Nice. I'm someone's dad. Yes, I usually have an emotional hangover for about 3 weeks after every Alabama game that I attend. I had just gotten over mocking the LSU fan that did jazz hands every time an on-the-field call was overturned on replay during the Alabama - LSU game.
In my defense, being called "TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT TIGER MEAT" all the way up the ramp did not put me in the best of moods. Why were there so many New York Jets fans in Auburn? Goofy...it was a good thing that CousinJim didn't go to the game. He wouldn't have made it to his seat.
It was also about 8 degrees in the 8th Circle of Hell that is the west upper deck at JERRRRRRDAN-HARES. And, Sodexho ran out of hot chocolate and coffee by the middle of the 1st quarter. That happens in Tuscaloosa, too, except it's the opposite. On a 95 degree September Saturday, there will be no ice in Bryant-Denny Stadium.
Any way, I left the stadium and started walking. All that I remembered was the we parked somewhere near Momma Goldberg's, just over the railroad tracks. On Wire Road (I swear) I stopped cussing long enough to ask a nice Auburn fan the way to Momma G's. He pointed me in the right direction, and told me that I should try the love. I pray that he was talking about a sandwich. I made it back to the car alone - that is, sans the love...oh, my apologies to the t-shirt lady that offered me a gameday t-shirt for $5. I don't really want six of them, and it's physically impossible to do with those t-shirts what I suggested that you do with them. What seemed like an hour later, JRod and Miss NatLee made it back to the car and we left Auburn for what may be my last time ever. I'm sure they won't miss me any more than I'll miss them.
Did y'all know that Bear's dead? He is. He's playing poker in hell with Satan. And cheating.
Oh, what else...I had a lot to say, but it all seems stupid now. Yeah, I know, if I didn't post stupid I wouldn't post anything. I've got a pot roast in the slow cooker. Honestly.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Vacating
I doubt any one will read this because I've been removed from the blog hub that is Karly's friend list, but I'll give it a try any way. Thank you Katie for sticking with me.
I've been on "vacation" since Thursday September 27. Team USA lost the Kiva Cup (again) because I couldn't put a ball in the fairway (again). My handicap should move from it's current 18.6 to a more accurate 29 at the next revision. We did get to see fake boobies for no good reason at all at a dive bar. I haven't told Leah the story yet. I'll tell her tonight after a couple of beers.
In the condo with the in-laws this week. Why is it that we have to wash Solo cups and re-use them when we're on vacation? I mean, I don't do that at home, and I'd gladly buy 200 of them just to not have to wash them. I don't get it. If we're going to use them and re-use them, why can't we just use the real glasses? It's goofy if you ask me.
As is tradition, Jack has been sick all week with a 102 degree fever. The pharmacist at the Publix was nice enough, and Jarrod and I saw a scared girl buy a pregnancy test and go straight to the restroom. We wanted to stay and see how the movie ended, but we thought that would be rude. Anyway, we thought Jack ate a rock, but I've since decided that he did not. He lo-loves the pool, but he hates the beach. He cannot stand to get sand or dirt on his feet. The flies are awful and they bite.
We ate at Captain Dave's last night to A.) avoid drama and B.) as Jarrod said, we can't eat any where as a group unless we have to walk under a fiberglass crab to get to the front door. Jarrod, NatLee, Leah and I are going to The Red Bar tonight. I'll get the chicken with capers and mashed potatoes. Who wants a t-shirt?
What happened to Michelle's blog?
I've been on "vacation" since Thursday September 27. Team USA lost the Kiva Cup (again) because I couldn't put a ball in the fairway (again). My handicap should move from it's current 18.6 to a more accurate 29 at the next revision. We did get to see fake boobies for no good reason at all at a dive bar. I haven't told Leah the story yet. I'll tell her tonight after a couple of beers.
In the condo with the in-laws this week. Why is it that we have to wash Solo cups and re-use them when we're on vacation? I mean, I don't do that at home, and I'd gladly buy 200 of them just to not have to wash them. I don't get it. If we're going to use them and re-use them, why can't we just use the real glasses? It's goofy if you ask me.
As is tradition, Jack has been sick all week with a 102 degree fever. The pharmacist at the Publix was nice enough, and Jarrod and I saw a scared girl buy a pregnancy test and go straight to the restroom. We wanted to stay and see how the movie ended, but we thought that would be rude. Anyway, we thought Jack ate a rock, but I've since decided that he did not. He lo-loves the pool, but he hates the beach. He cannot stand to get sand or dirt on his feet. The flies are awful and they bite.
We ate at Captain Dave's last night to A.) avoid drama and B.) as Jarrod said, we can't eat any where as a group unless we have to walk under a fiberglass crab to get to the front door. Jarrod, NatLee, Leah and I are going to The Red Bar tonight. I'll get the chicken with capers and mashed potatoes. Who wants a t-shirt?
What happened to Michelle's blog?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Pen and Paper
I've always been one of those people that thinks that you should be able to solve a math problem without the help of a calculator (or functions in an Excel spreadsheet). I don't really know what that has to do with what I'm about to say, but here I go...
When I first started a blog, More or Less, it was because Katie and Karly (the two other desk jockeys) got tired of getting my rantings and smart-a$$ remarks in the form of a dozen or more emails a day. So, taking Katie’s “You really need a blog” suggestion, More or Less was created. Though the work product suffered, I stopped emailing people quite so much. (Removing the pen from the paper, if you will.)
And then, as we’ve discussed, the Fun Nazis took away my ability to post to, or read, blogs at work. Little surprise here, but the number of posts to The Conch Shack decreased tremendously. To top it off, pen and paper doesn't work any more either because Katie and Karly no longer respond to email in rapid fashion, so I’m essentially incommunicado with that group of friends.
Well, today, the email server is down. They installed some new and improved SPAM blocker to our email server. It blocks everything except SPAM. Anyone interested in some really cheap Viagra and Cialis? $1.78 a pill. Let me know. Anyway, so I’m not able to communicate with ANYONE today. I guess that I could use this beige thing on my desk with all the numbered buttons to…I don’t know, CALL someone, but where’s the fun in that?
I know that Boo, Jrod, Ziggy, Capt’N Jim, and Skabs are sending emails today. I’ve already been told that I’m “missing some good ones”. I’m almost afraid of the number of emails that are going to flood my inbox once the server is restored.
So, here I am. Typing my post in to a Word document that I will then email to my home email address…oops, there’s a flaw in my logic already. I have no email from work. I’ll send it anyway and post this if and when I receive it. I feel like I’m talking to myself.
Hey, here’s something that you never, ever want to hear. I walked in the break room today at lunch to retrieve my sandwich from the refrigerator. Two female co-workers were already in there heating up their lunches in the microwave. Just as I walked in, one of them said to the other, “My stomach was a little messed up this morning.” They stopped talking when they saw me, but I wonder how much detail she would have provided had I not walked in..."I mean, it was all busted up and stanky"...I don't know.
Who talks about that at work? Who talks about that _______________ (fill in the blank)? Why? Why? I don’t need to know that kind of stuff. I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know.
You know what else you never, ever want to hear? Anything that begins with, “When we were in Vegas, Jammy……….”
NO, NO, NO!! WHERE IS THE FLAG!!! THAT’S A FLAGRANT PENALTY ON YOU SCARY SNACKS! THAT’S LOSS OF YARDAGE AND LOSS OF DOWN.
Even Leah said, “I know PromKing totally made that story up, but you need to tell him to keep that stuff down home, cuz.” (She almost went to Auburn.)
Speaking of loss of yardage and loss of down, we’re within two weeks of another college football season. Two weeks before the Junior League lady behind me that's wearing elephant earrings yells “LET’S GO, BIMA!” Two weeks before the first eight notes of the fight song gives be a small case of goose bumps. Two weeks before we see what a $4 million coach can do in 8 short months on the job. Two weeks to hope, and as Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption, “hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Katie, it was “Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)” by Billy Joel.
Until next time…
When I first started a blog, More or Less, it was because Katie and Karly (the two other desk jockeys) got tired of getting my rantings and smart-a$$ remarks in the form of a dozen or more emails a day. So, taking Katie’s “You really need a blog” suggestion, More or Less was created. Though the work product suffered, I stopped emailing people quite so much. (Removing the pen from the paper, if you will.)
And then, as we’ve discussed, the Fun Nazis took away my ability to post to, or read, blogs at work. Little surprise here, but the number of posts to The Conch Shack decreased tremendously. To top it off, pen and paper doesn't work any more either because Katie and Karly no longer respond to email in rapid fashion, so I’m essentially incommunicado with that group of friends.
Well, today, the email server is down. They installed some new and improved SPAM blocker to our email server. It blocks everything except SPAM. Anyone interested in some really cheap Viagra and Cialis? $1.78 a pill. Let me know. Anyway, so I’m not able to communicate with ANYONE today. I guess that I could use this beige thing on my desk with all the numbered buttons to…I don’t know, CALL someone, but where’s the fun in that?
I know that Boo, Jrod, Ziggy, Capt’N Jim, and Skabs are sending emails today. I’ve already been told that I’m “missing some good ones”. I’m almost afraid of the number of emails that are going to flood my inbox once the server is restored.
So, here I am. Typing my post in to a Word document that I will then email to my home email address…oops, there’s a flaw in my logic already. I have no email from work. I’ll send it anyway and post this if and when I receive it. I feel like I’m talking to myself.
Hey, here’s something that you never, ever want to hear. I walked in the break room today at lunch to retrieve my sandwich from the refrigerator. Two female co-workers were already in there heating up their lunches in the microwave. Just as I walked in, one of them said to the other, “My stomach was a little messed up this morning.” They stopped talking when they saw me, but I wonder how much detail she would have provided had I not walked in..."I mean, it was all busted up and stanky"...I don't know.
Who talks about that at work? Who talks about that _______________ (fill in the blank)? Why? Why? I don’t need to know that kind of stuff. I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know.
You know what else you never, ever want to hear? Anything that begins with, “When we were in Vegas, Jammy……….”
NO, NO, NO!! WHERE IS THE FLAG!!! THAT’S A FLAGRANT PENALTY ON YOU SCARY SNACKS! THAT’S LOSS OF YARDAGE AND LOSS OF DOWN.
Even Leah said, “I know PromKing totally made that story up, but you need to tell him to keep that stuff down home, cuz.” (She almost went to Auburn.)
Speaking of loss of yardage and loss of down, we’re within two weeks of another college football season. Two weeks before the Junior League lady behind me that's wearing elephant earrings yells “LET’S GO, BIMA!” Two weeks before the first eight notes of the fight song gives be a small case of goose bumps. Two weeks before we see what a $4 million coach can do in 8 short months on the job. Two weeks to hope, and as Andy Dufresne said in The Shawshank Redemption, “hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Katie, it was “Miami 2017 (Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)” by Billy Joel.
Until next time…
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Quick Poll
Since I can't access this site from work, I really can't maintain it regularly. I won't even be able to read the results of this quick poll for two or three days.
Should I just close up the Conch Shack?
Fun Nazis deserve a good swift kick in the nerts. Freakin' Doom playing bastages.
I miss reading about what's happening with you guys. On the upside, I've learned to slow down and really appreciate my 90 minute lunch hour.
Should I just close up the Conch Shack?
Fun Nazis deserve a good swift kick in the nerts. Freakin' Doom playing bastages.
I miss reading about what's happening with you guys. On the upside, I've learned to slow down and really appreciate my 90 minute lunch hour.
Monday, July 23, 2007
The No Fun Zone
Hi. It's been so long since we talked, I felt like I needed a little ice breaker instead of just jumping right in. That's all I've got. Oh yeah, back in the day, I was a hit at The Houndstooth.
I'm not sure how Harry Potter ends, but it must have been devastating to the peeps (I wanted to call them virgins, but I thought that unfair to virgins) in our IS department. Those fun Nazis have blocked access to all blogspot.com sites from our work computers. NO FUN FOR YOU! I can't read any of your stuff, and I can't post any thing from work. What a bunch of kill-joys. Now I can only access my site and all of your sites from home. Like I've got time to do this from the house! Tonight is the exception, though, because Leah had a function of some sort to which guys and kids weren't invited.
I used to work through lunch, but if they're going to be that way about it, I'm going to do like everyone else. That is, leave 5 minutes before lunch officially begins, stay gone for an hour and fifteen minutes, then show up with a sack full of Krystals and sit at my desk and eat for another thirty minutes whilst ignoring all responsibility or sense of duty.
No, I won't do that. I'm too nice.
A wise man once told me, "A job's not worth having if you can't take advantage of it every now and then." No word if he said that before he was fired or after.
Anyhoo. What else?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! Have you heard? Have you seen them? Have you seen their pictures? Did you get invited to the party that TomKat hosted for them?? THEY ARE STEPPING OUT!!!!!!
WTF???
The best line that I read about them was that he was famous because or her, and she was famous for being somewhat famous.
He's a SOCCER PLAYER (injured) AND SHE, NOTHING MORE THAN A SOCCER PLAYER'S WIFE! Oh, she's friends with Katie Holmes! I hope she's had her crazy shot. Over that.
A couple of weeks ago, before it rained, I was watering our drought stressed Japanese Maple with the garden hose when I took a sip of water out of the garden hose. Well, Jack saw me do it and he HAD to have a drink. The kid LUVS water, and to drink it out of a garden hose was too much for him to resist. So, they're we were...the tree got a sip, Da got a sip, Jack got a sip, and Jack's shirt got a sip. It made for some really cute pictures and we all had a great time. All of us, that is, except Grandma Lolly. Grnadma Lolly was repulsed by this activity.
Two days later, like manna from heaven, Fox News, the Rush Limbaugh Radio Empire or the Sally Struthers Network miraculously ran a story about the dangers of allowing children to drink from garden hoses because of all the bacteria that builds up in the hose. So much for that fun.
But I'm telling you, the kid loves water. During his bath, he has taken to filling up his plastic Elmo cup and DRINKING HIS BATH WATER. Inside, I feel like this is a little more dangerous than drinking from a garden hose, but those that know me know that I'm a "choose my battles" type of guy (actually I'm not, because is it really worth all that?), and my battle is with the garden hose. We're not going to tell Lolly that he drinks his bath water. We'll let that be a surprise the next time she babysits. Should be fun. Pee, poot, drink, repeat.
Did you guys watch Greek last Saturday night? I saw half of it before I fell asleep. Yes, I'm aware that I fell asleep at 8:30.
Kathy Griffin is a funny funny lady.
That's really all that I've seen.
Lastly, to the interest of no one reading this, I ran a grand total of 17 miles last week. Four 3-mile runs and a 5 miler on Saturday. My goal this week, two 3s, two 4s, and a 6. If I did my math right, that's 20 miles even. Get y'all some of that.
I'm not sure how Harry Potter ends, but it must have been devastating to the peeps (I wanted to call them virgins, but I thought that unfair to virgins) in our IS department. Those fun Nazis have blocked access to all blogspot.com sites from our work computers. NO FUN FOR YOU! I can't read any of your stuff, and I can't post any thing from work. What a bunch of kill-joys. Now I can only access my site and all of your sites from home. Like I've got time to do this from the house! Tonight is the exception, though, because Leah had a function of some sort to which guys and kids weren't invited.
I used to work through lunch, but if they're going to be that way about it, I'm going to do like everyone else. That is, leave 5 minutes before lunch officially begins, stay gone for an hour and fifteen minutes, then show up with a sack full of Krystals and sit at my desk and eat for another thirty minutes whilst ignoring all responsibility or sense of duty.
No, I won't do that. I'm too nice.
A wise man once told me, "A job's not worth having if you can't take advantage of it every now and then." No word if he said that before he was fired or after.
Anyhoo. What else?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! THE BECKHAM'S ARE HERE!!! Have you heard? Have you seen them? Have you seen their pictures? Did you get invited to the party that TomKat hosted for them?? THEY ARE STEPPING OUT!!!!!!
WTF???
The best line that I read about them was that he was famous because or her, and she was famous for being somewhat famous.
He's a SOCCER PLAYER (injured) AND SHE, NOTHING MORE THAN A SOCCER PLAYER'S WIFE! Oh, she's friends with Katie Holmes! I hope she's had her crazy shot. Over that.
A couple of weeks ago, before it rained, I was watering our drought stressed Japanese Maple with the garden hose when I took a sip of water out of the garden hose. Well, Jack saw me do it and he HAD to have a drink. The kid LUVS water, and to drink it out of a garden hose was too much for him to resist. So, they're we were...the tree got a sip, Da got a sip, Jack got a sip, and Jack's shirt got a sip. It made for some really cute pictures and we all had a great time. All of us, that is, except Grandma Lolly. Grnadma Lolly was repulsed by this activity.
Two days later, like manna from heaven, Fox News, the Rush Limbaugh Radio Empire or the Sally Struthers Network miraculously ran a story about the dangers of allowing children to drink from garden hoses because of all the bacteria that builds up in the hose. So much for that fun.
But I'm telling you, the kid loves water. During his bath, he has taken to filling up his plastic Elmo cup and DRINKING HIS BATH WATER. Inside, I feel like this is a little more dangerous than drinking from a garden hose, but those that know me know that I'm a "choose my battles" type of guy (actually I'm not, because is it really worth all that?), and my battle is with the garden hose. We're not going to tell Lolly that he drinks his bath water. We'll let that be a surprise the next time she babysits. Should be fun. Pee, poot, drink, repeat.
Did you guys watch Greek last Saturday night? I saw half of it before I fell asleep. Yes, I'm aware that I fell asleep at 8:30.
Kathy Griffin is a funny funny lady.
That's really all that I've seen.
Lastly, to the interest of no one reading this, I ran a grand total of 17 miles last week. Four 3-mile runs and a 5 miler on Saturday. My goal this week, two 3s, two 4s, and a 6. If I did my math right, that's 20 miles even. Get y'all some of that.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Oh OHHH Dreammmmm Weaver...
Tell me what this dream means. I've had it a couple of times now.
It's Christmas Eve. We've been every where and seen every one that we're supposed to see on Christmas Eve. After putting Jack to bed, Leah and I collapse on the sofa and try to relax for a moment. We try our best to recover from all of the forced family fun and rest up for more FFF to come the next morning, day and night. As we exhale, in the silent calm of that moment, it hits me that I haven't bought Leah one single Christmas present. I'm horrified and frightened and embarrassed and feel like a total arse.
And then I wake up.
I never get to see how it turns out. My guess is that I stayed up all night making a card on the computer that reads "Sorry you don't have a present to open" on the outside, and then the inside says something like, "But I couldn't find a box big enough for New York City! Pack your bags. We're spending New Years Eve in Times Square!"
I would then have to book airline tickets and a hotel room.
What does it mean, and how does the story end?
I'm going to get her a t-shirt and a loofa sponge at Target on the way home, just to be prepared.
It's Christmas Eve. We've been every where and seen every one that we're supposed to see on Christmas Eve. After putting Jack to bed, Leah and I collapse on the sofa and try to relax for a moment. We try our best to recover from all of the forced family fun and rest up for more FFF to come the next morning, day and night. As we exhale, in the silent calm of that moment, it hits me that I haven't bought Leah one single Christmas present. I'm horrified and frightened and embarrassed and feel like a total arse.
And then I wake up.
I never get to see how it turns out. My guess is that I stayed up all night making a card on the computer that reads "Sorry you don't have a present to open" on the outside, and then the inside says something like, "But I couldn't find a box big enough for New York City! Pack your bags. We're spending New Years Eve in Times Square!"
I would then have to book airline tickets and a hotel room.
What does it mean, and how does the story end?
I'm going to get her a t-shirt and a loofa sponge at Target on the way home, just to be prepared.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
We went to a movie!
Wow, what a weekend. It's taken me two days to organize (loosely organize) what all happened.
Deep breath...here we go:
Friday night Leah and I went on a date. Alone. No Jack. No Brandon and Karly. No Prom King and Katie. No JRod and Ellie Walker, the lady druggist. Just us. It almost didn't happen, because little Jack-Jack had a come apart when we left. I don't think that it was so much that we were leaving, but that we were leaving in the CAR. He luvs the car right now. He loves to sit in the driver's seat and turn all the knobs and stuff. He's silly. Anyway, back to the date. What were we supposed to talk about? I hope nothing, because that's about all we discussed. We went to the Summit Tavern (the one up top, not by Fleming's). Did y'all know that the Tavern doesn't serve Coors Light? I think that I knew, too, at one time, but I forgot. It was nice to have a meal that didn't end in me having to pick chicken up from the floor or leave a 40% tip. I got the prime rib sandwich (of course) and Leah got French onion soup and a salad. She wanted to save room for the movie theater popcorn.
After dinner, we went to see Ocean's 11, Part three. I enjoyed it okay, but I actually liked part two better. Of course, Ocean's 11 was still the best. One funny thing did happen during the movie. No surprise here, but the movie is set in Las Vegas, right? There are a couple of scenes from McCarren Airport, and that means that there were more than a couple Southwest planes seen in the movie. Well, every time one of those peanut serving planes was shown, the girl next to me would get all gitty, clap her hands, and squeal "wwhhhhHHHHHEEEEEE southwest". Just like that. Low at first with a fevered midpoint that tapered off to a low, fast "southwest". She did it all within acceptable volumes for a movie theater, but it was still a strange, Pavlovian type of response to a blue and orange plane. I looked at her a couple of times before I realized that she was a Southwest flight attendant.
So we get home Friday night relatively early. The news had just come on, I think. We went to bed because the real party starts every day about 6:00 AM, even on Saturdays. Actually, Jack slept in a little and didn't get up until about 6:45 Saturday morning. Must have been the rain.
We went to the Galleria early Saturday morning...we were there before 10AM. It was kind of weird to be walking around before the stores were open. I felt like one of those old guys that used to walk around Eastwood Mall because it was temperature controlled. I'm running out of time and interest, so here are the rest of the highlights:
Jack likes to ride the carousel 2.5 times.
There are at least two Dippin Dots vending machines in the Galleria Food Court. Yea Banana Split Dippin Dots.
Yea for game day apparel! Jen can help you guys out with that.
The old High Country store (lower level under Parisian Kids entrance) has Pearl Izuma trail running shorts, Brandon.
Why is K&B Toys so crowded with stuff? Shouldn't a store with a bunch of kids running around be a little bit less cluttered?
Yea three hour Jacknap after a morning of running around.
I don't think Prom King likes Davenport's Pizza.
I got the high score on Ms. Pac Man, and the third highest score on Donkey Kong.
Both of Jack's Sunday School teachers were out last Sunday. He didn't like the replacements at all. "Did he cry the whole time", we asked. "Off and on" was the watered down answer.
We had a lazy Sunday afternoon.
What a waste of your time. I'm sorry about that.
Deep breath...here we go:
Friday night Leah and I went on a date. Alone. No Jack. No Brandon and Karly. No Prom King and Katie. No JRod and Ellie Walker, the lady druggist. Just us. It almost didn't happen, because little Jack-Jack had a come apart when we left. I don't think that it was so much that we were leaving, but that we were leaving in the CAR. He luvs the car right now. He loves to sit in the driver's seat and turn all the knobs and stuff. He's silly. Anyway, back to the date. What were we supposed to talk about? I hope nothing, because that's about all we discussed. We went to the Summit Tavern (the one up top, not by Fleming's). Did y'all know that the Tavern doesn't serve Coors Light? I think that I knew, too, at one time, but I forgot. It was nice to have a meal that didn't end in me having to pick chicken up from the floor or leave a 40% tip. I got the prime rib sandwich (of course) and Leah got French onion soup and a salad. She wanted to save room for the movie theater popcorn.
After dinner, we went to see Ocean's 11, Part three. I enjoyed it okay, but I actually liked part two better. Of course, Ocean's 11 was still the best. One funny thing did happen during the movie. No surprise here, but the movie is set in Las Vegas, right? There are a couple of scenes from McCarren Airport, and that means that there were more than a couple Southwest planes seen in the movie. Well, every time one of those peanut serving planes was shown, the girl next to me would get all gitty, clap her hands, and squeal "wwhhhhHHHHHEEEEEE southwest". Just like that. Low at first with a fevered midpoint that tapered off to a low, fast "southwest". She did it all within acceptable volumes for a movie theater, but it was still a strange, Pavlovian type of response to a blue and orange plane. I looked at her a couple of times before I realized that she was a Southwest flight attendant.
So we get home Friday night relatively early. The news had just come on, I think. We went to bed because the real party starts every day about 6:00 AM, even on Saturdays. Actually, Jack slept in a little and didn't get up until about 6:45 Saturday morning. Must have been the rain.
We went to the Galleria early Saturday morning...we were there before 10AM. It was kind of weird to be walking around before the stores were open. I felt like one of those old guys that used to walk around Eastwood Mall because it was temperature controlled. I'm running out of time and interest, so here are the rest of the highlights:
Jack likes to ride the carousel 2.5 times.
There are at least two Dippin Dots vending machines in the Galleria Food Court. Yea Banana Split Dippin Dots.
Yea for game day apparel! Jen can help you guys out with that.
The old High Country store (lower level under Parisian Kids entrance) has Pearl Izuma trail running shorts, Brandon.
Why is K&B Toys so crowded with stuff? Shouldn't a store with a bunch of kids running around be a little bit less cluttered?
Yea three hour Jacknap after a morning of running around.
I don't think Prom King likes Davenport's Pizza.
I got the high score on Ms. Pac Man, and the third highest score on Donkey Kong.
Both of Jack's Sunday School teachers were out last Sunday. He didn't like the replacements at all. "Did he cry the whole time", we asked. "Off and on" was the watered down answer.
We had a lazy Sunday afternoon.
What a waste of your time. I'm sorry about that.
Monday, July 02, 2007
MY TOP TEN CONTEST ENTRY....
wasn't selected this week either. The topic, Top Ten Rejected Titles for the New Bruce Willis Movie (I guess we're using the term "new" very loosely). My entry, "Die Already!", didn't make the cut.
They selected instead, "Die of Old Age Already", submitted by Greg M. of Milford, PA.
Shout out to Birmingham's Curt P.!! His entry, "Die Hard of Hearing", was #7 on the list.
The only other good one, "Dude, Where's My Wife?", submitted by Shelley R. of Port Orchard, WA.
Did y'all watch the big Diana Tribute concert last night? Me either.
We left Jack in the nursery at church yesterday. His fits of church nursery crying are not only heart-breaking, but somewhat legendary. He used to start crying when we turned the car in to the church parking lot. Not kidding. He'd cry, and cry, and cry, and pass out, and cry in his sleep, and wake up crying in the car on the way home after church. We've progressively gotten better such that the crying now begins when we walk down the nursery hall and ends when we turn on The Wiggles CD (he no longer passes out from crying).
Yesterday, when we got to the nursery 1/2 door, his little bottom lip began to quiver and tears formed in his eyes -- oh it's too much to even recount -- but, when we went back after 'preachin' (we haven't gotten to a SS class yet), he was standing up next to Mrs. Holly pounding on some toy that probably wasn't a pounding toy having a great time. Holly and the other teacher, Felicia - who I know can't wait for promotion Sunday - looked at us and in unison said, "Oh my gosh!"
Now, I'm thinking that he hit someone with a toy. Or threw something at someone. Or, although he's never done this before, bit someone. Why do we always think the worst?
Well, none of those things happened. They continued with, "He was so good!" hhhhoooooof. He played and talked and laughed and did 'more more more' when they ate goldfish crackers. He was excited to see us, but he would've stayed a bit longer.
They also said that he was "brilliant" and that his deductive reasoning skills were incredible. All that means is that he knows that if he's sweet, you'll let him crawl in to your lap, and from that perch he can reach your cell phone that's on the counter. He even told them "bye" and snapped his fingers when we left. He's so Fonzie and he doesn't even know it.
He's a good boy.
They selected instead, "Die of Old Age Already", submitted by Greg M. of Milford, PA.
Shout out to Birmingham's Curt P.!! His entry, "Die Hard of Hearing", was #7 on the list.
The only other good one, "Dude, Where's My Wife?", submitted by Shelley R. of Port Orchard, WA.
Did y'all watch the big Diana Tribute concert last night? Me either.
We left Jack in the nursery at church yesterday. His fits of church nursery crying are not only heart-breaking, but somewhat legendary. He used to start crying when we turned the car in to the church parking lot. Not kidding. He'd cry, and cry, and cry, and pass out, and cry in his sleep, and wake up crying in the car on the way home after church. We've progressively gotten better such that the crying now begins when we walk down the nursery hall and ends when we turn on The Wiggles CD (he no longer passes out from crying).
Yesterday, when we got to the nursery 1/2 door, his little bottom lip began to quiver and tears formed in his eyes -- oh it's too much to even recount -- but, when we went back after 'preachin' (we haven't gotten to a SS class yet), he was standing up next to Mrs. Holly pounding on some toy that probably wasn't a pounding toy having a great time. Holly and the other teacher, Felicia - who I know can't wait for promotion Sunday - looked at us and in unison said, "Oh my gosh!"
Now, I'm thinking that he hit someone with a toy. Or threw something at someone. Or, although he's never done this before, bit someone. Why do we always think the worst?
Well, none of those things happened. They continued with, "He was so good!" hhhhoooooof. He played and talked and laughed and did 'more more more' when they ate goldfish crackers. He was excited to see us, but he would've stayed a bit longer.
They also said that he was "brilliant" and that his deductive reasoning skills were incredible. All that means is that he knows that if he's sweet, you'll let him crawl in to your lap, and from that perch he can reach your cell phone that's on the counter. He even told them "bye" and snapped his fingers when we left. He's so Fonzie and he doesn't even know it.
He's a good boy.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Countrywide LUVS me again!!
Sorry for the posting delay lately. I'm just now exiting the shock-like state I entered after reading about some peoples' visit to 119.
The a-holes at Countrywide Mortgage called me a couple of nights ago to tell me that they reviewed my file, that I'm a great customer, and that they think they can save me some money on my home mortgage.
SIDE NOTE: If a company that you're already doing business with calls you and tells you that they can save you money on the product or service that you're already buying from them, they're jerking you around. If the price you're paying for the service is higher than the price they're currently providing the service to other people, why would they call you? I made that mistake with CenturyTel - our phone company - I knew the monthly bill would end up costing more than my current plan. Why did I switch plans?
After she said she could save me money, I asked her if she really reviewed my file. If she really reviewed the file, she would have seen the ceritified letter that Countrywide sent to me 5 months ago telling me that I was in default and that they could enter the house to inspect its condition, demand payment in full of the loan, and/or foreclose on the property. She was silent - no doubt looking for that little response in her scenerio playbook. I thanked her for calling and hung-up.
Last night, CenturyTel called to say that they could save me money on my internet bill. I told the caller that the last time they told me that they could save me money, my phone bill actually increased $5 a month. His response, "Well, uh, that was your phone bill, right? Uhh, I'm calling about our internet service."
OHHHH, well, I'm sure that y'all won't screw me on for your internet package like you did for the phone package.
What else? Oh, can anyone explain to me what's happening on Teletubbies? Jack loves that show, but it's kind of weird to me. Even more so than the Doodlebops.
The a-holes at Countrywide Mortgage called me a couple of nights ago to tell me that they reviewed my file, that I'm a great customer, and that they think they can save me some money on my home mortgage.
SIDE NOTE: If a company that you're already doing business with calls you and tells you that they can save you money on the product or service that you're already buying from them, they're jerking you around. If the price you're paying for the service is higher than the price they're currently providing the service to other people, why would they call you? I made that mistake with CenturyTel - our phone company - I knew the monthly bill would end up costing more than my current plan. Why did I switch plans?
After she said she could save me money, I asked her if she really reviewed my file. If she really reviewed the file, she would have seen the ceritified letter that Countrywide sent to me 5 months ago telling me that I was in default and that they could enter the house to inspect its condition, demand payment in full of the loan, and/or foreclose on the property. She was silent - no doubt looking for that little response in her scenerio playbook. I thanked her for calling and hung-up.
Last night, CenturyTel called to say that they could save me money on my internet bill. I told the caller that the last time they told me that they could save me money, my phone bill actually increased $5 a month. His response, "Well, uh, that was your phone bill, right? Uhh, I'm calling about our internet service."
OHHHH, well, I'm sure that y'all won't screw me on for your internet package like you did for the phone package.
What else? Oh, can anyone explain to me what's happening on Teletubbies? Jack loves that show, but it's kind of weird to me. Even more so than the Doodlebops.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
One More Twist & Shout Request
"Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners. They'd have had to put a new roof on the joint.
I've meant to add that to my list for about a month. Now on to other matters.
For really the first time in almost two weeks, PawPaw opened his eyes yesterday. He has, so I'm told, opened them once or twice when other people went back to see him. Yesterday, though, he had his eyes open just about all day. He was nodding his head to answer questions, and he was smiling. That was good to see. Should I ever find myself in intensive care with six broken ribs, a punctured lung, a right arm that was almost amputated, compromised kidneys, a broken nose, and 212 stitches in my scalp, I hope that I can smile. It makes everybody feel better. Y'all know it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown.
Leah's in Memphis this week. I think that Jack-Jack likes it when Daddy keeps him. He gets to watch Little Einsteins while he eats breakfast - which consists of yogurt, Fruit Loops, and 'Nilla Wafers. I also let him play in the dirt and the water and I let him pull the neighborhood cat's tail. He learns life lessons when he's with me.
Are they really going to sentence The Gubner to life in prison for accepting a motorcycle? Really? I mean really? Just because the US prosecutor couldn't convict Coach Scrushy in the HealthSouth trial?
What else is happening? Rick and Bubba are on this "Mexican children are allowed in school without having the immunizations that all the other kids are required to have" kick. If all the other kids have the immunizations, then what's the big deal with letting the Mexican kids in school? I mean, if I have my circle-circle-dot-dot cootie shot, then I can't get cooties. The only ones susceptible to catching cooties are the other illegals that don't have cootie shots, and if I understand correctly, they start them on the shot program straight away.
I'm not saying that the illegals should be draining the public school resources, I get that they're here illegally and are given passing grades even though they don't speak English and blah, blah, blah, but I just need a little better reason to keep them out than they don't have an MMR. Honestly, I got mine in 1996.
Out.
I've meant to add that to my list for about a month. Now on to other matters.
For really the first time in almost two weeks, PawPaw opened his eyes yesterday. He has, so I'm told, opened them once or twice when other people went back to see him. Yesterday, though, he had his eyes open just about all day. He was nodding his head to answer questions, and he was smiling. That was good to see. Should I ever find myself in intensive care with six broken ribs, a punctured lung, a right arm that was almost amputated, compromised kidneys, a broken nose, and 212 stitches in my scalp, I hope that I can smile. It makes everybody feel better. Y'all know it takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown.
Leah's in Memphis this week. I think that Jack-Jack likes it when Daddy keeps him. He gets to watch Little Einsteins while he eats breakfast - which consists of yogurt, Fruit Loops, and 'Nilla Wafers. I also let him play in the dirt and the water and I let him pull the neighborhood cat's tail. He learns life lessons when he's with me.
Are they really going to sentence The Gubner to life in prison for accepting a motorcycle? Really? I mean really? Just because the US prosecutor couldn't convict Coach Scrushy in the HealthSouth trial?
What else is happening? Rick and Bubba are on this "Mexican children are allowed in school without having the immunizations that all the other kids are required to have" kick. If all the other kids have the immunizations, then what's the big deal with letting the Mexican kids in school? I mean, if I have my circle-circle-dot-dot cootie shot, then I can't get cooties. The only ones susceptible to catching cooties are the other illegals that don't have cootie shots, and if I understand correctly, they start them on the shot program straight away.
I'm not saying that the illegals should be draining the public school resources, I get that they're here illegally and are given passing grades even though they don't speak English and blah, blah, blah, but I just need a little better reason to keep them out than they don't have an MMR. Honestly, I got mine in 1996.
Out.
Monday, June 18, 2007
What a difference a week makes
Last Monday, I didn't have the energy or desire to recap the trip to see the shuttle launch. Today I wish that I had taken a videographer to record the whole weekend...even the parts where we got snubbed at IHOP and got the finger from the local at Melbourne Beach.Long story short, for those that don't know, my PawPaw was in an automobile wreck last Thursday - four days after we got back from our trip. He was thrown from the vehicle and suffered massive internal injuries. He had some significant cuts on his scalp, but suffered no blunt force trauma to the head. He is in the TBICU, however, with injuries to just about every internal organ. He has not regained consciousness, but he does respond to commands to wiggle his toes and squeeze hands. He plays favorites, though, and only squeezes the hands of his daughters and my cousin Donna.
My family, while very concerned, will only be serious when the time is right. We'll laugh as much as we can through the pain. It's not just us "older kids" either. The younger generation knows how to laugh also - or at least how to make us laugh with their honesty. My cousin's 8 year old daughter made PawPaw card using a ball point pen and a piece of notebook paper.
On the outside, she wrote "Dear Great PawPaw, I (heart) U".
On the inside she wrote, "Are you o.k.? I am so sorry that you almost broke every bone in your body."
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, even from those of you that aren't quite sure what to say. I've been there, too. I'll try to keep you updated.
One last thought...girls are much better nurturers than boys. My mom and her sisters haven't gone 100 yards from PawPaw since he's been here. My female cousins, Donna and Teresa, have stayed night after night, lending moral support and medical interpretations (they're both nurses). It just makes me wonder who would take care of me if I were in PawPaw's place.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Cruising (or not)
I said, "Jack, hands at 10 and 2." He stepped on my sunglasses instead.Thoughts and a few cringes go out to a friend today as the doctor puts a scalpel in a place that scalpels really shouldn't be placed. There has got to be a better way. All that pain and it's not even 100% effective? I hear tell that, after the procedure, there are still shells in the shotgun. We can send a man to the moon, but we can't come up a better system? Where's the outrage, Oprah?
We watched one episode of The Office from the BBC last night. Almost word for word, it was exactly the same as the NBC version. Even the plot lines were the same. Dwight K. Shrute is better than their Assistant to the Regional Manager (they used that line, or we stole it from them, whatever). Overall, it was kind of a let-down given all the extra work you have to put in to understanding what they're saying. The British accents are a little heavy.
Cheers.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Midweek tidbits
Other items from our trip to Orlando/Kennedy Space Center:
I was flipping channels on the television Sunday morning and I heard a voice that I sort of recognized. I waited for a few seconds and then, right there on my TV screen, the face of Elizabeth (Liz, as the hipsters call her) Artz appeared. She’s, apparently, a weekend anchor at the ABC affiliate in Orlando. There was no co-anchor. She looked the same because, well, people don’t change a whole lot in 6 months. She was wearing those black rimmed librarian glasses that all the cool kids have.
I told you guys my Cracker Barrel idea a few months ago and, as I sat in traffic for 2 –1/2 hours trying to go 35 miles after the shuttle launch last Friday night, I came up with another one. How about a counter feature on Mapquest that gives the number of times people have requested directions to/from a specific place in the last 7 days or 30 days or whatever. It would say something like, “198,654 people have requested directions to or from your requested location in the last 7 days.” That would be good information to know. Maybe it could then strongly suggest that you try an alternate route. Just an idea.
I got some sad news today. As you may remember, Mr. Wizard was a guest blogger once on the old More or Less site. Mr. Wizard passed away yesterday. So long, friend.
The car that we rented had XM Radio. I don't really have much to say about it, except that it was pretty cool. Every baseball game was broadcast. There were stations galore on every topic imaginable. I think I'll look in to getting the XM.
I was flipping channels on the television Sunday morning and I heard a voice that I sort of recognized. I waited for a few seconds and then, right there on my TV screen, the face of Elizabeth (Liz, as the hipsters call her) Artz appeared. She’s, apparently, a weekend anchor at the ABC affiliate in Orlando. There was no co-anchor. She looked the same because, well, people don’t change a whole lot in 6 months. She was wearing those black rimmed librarian glasses that all the cool kids have.
I told you guys my Cracker Barrel idea a few months ago and, as I sat in traffic for 2 –1/2 hours trying to go 35 miles after the shuttle launch last Friday night, I came up with another one. How about a counter feature on Mapquest that gives the number of times people have requested directions to/from a specific place in the last 7 days or 30 days or whatever. It would say something like, “198,654 people have requested directions to or from your requested location in the last 7 days.” That would be good information to know. Maybe it could then strongly suggest that you try an alternate route. Just an idea.
I got some sad news today. As you may remember, Mr. Wizard was a guest blogger once on the old More or Less site. Mr. Wizard passed away yesterday. So long, friend.
The car that we rented had XM Radio. I don't really have much to say about it, except that it was pretty cool. Every baseball game was broadcast. There were stations galore on every topic imaginable. I think I'll look in to getting the XM.
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